Happy beginnings and Sad endings

Chapter three - Scars that never heal

I always loved art and music. They were the only things I found beautiful in this world. Music is a type of art. So are poems. Art is a beautiful subject to study. I always appreciated it. It made me happy. I wish that could cover up the scars I have that never seem to heal. My mental and physical scars. The ones that my friends can see. And the ones they will never know about. I was always worried about telling my friends stuff about me. If I ever did I could never figure out how they felt about it. They never seemed to concerned. I wish that knew how I felt. But I can't bring myself to tell them. Every night before I went to bed I would tell myself ' tomorrow, that's when you tell them'. But the next day I couldn't tell them. I was too scared of what they would say and how they would feel. If I ever did commit suicide. I always hopes that they would find a way to forgive me for what I did. I always thought that my death wouldn't bother them. That they wouldn't even notice if I were gone.  I always hoped that it wouldn't have an impact. Even now I feel guilty for thinking about suicide. But this is who I am and this is how I feel. And I don't think that can be helped.