Close Distances

Seperation

"Mom, I don't feel good at all", were the last words I spoke to mom crying all over again.

"Dad, I don't want to. Please!" were the last words I spoke to dad in a fierce mode of anger

And,

"I'm sorry... I didn't want anything like this to happen. N-never!" were the last words I spoke to my brother holding the pain of my heart of getting away from him before dad forcibly let me inside the car making me sit in the seat next to my aunt as the car driver drove the car far away from them.

Before this, I tried telling and convincing dad a lot that I did not want to leave neither of them, nor mom or brother or dad himself but all my efforts were going on waste. No matter how many times I would cry or become angry or argue with dad, he'd just be stubborn and not listen to me making his decision to send me away, even the very last time.

The last moment as dad threw me in into the car and slammed the door, the pain in my heart grew so wild that it took over my whole body stopping my breath making me unable to emit a single word out of my mouth. As soon as the driver put the key and started the car, there was a sudden vibration caused by the whacky engine of the car which gave a sudden jerk to me.

Soon, drops of tears fell down from my eyes and ran through my dry cheeks as I made a half turn looking outside from the clean glass pane at the back of the car. I rested my hands on the glass pane and looked out through it as I saw my brother standing on the road, just where I was looking; behind the car with red, teary eyes.

The driver moved his feet towards the accelerator of the car and slowly pressed it as the car moved further slowly. The car's speed increased slowly, second by second. As the car's speed was increasing, me and my brother's distance was also increasing and so was the pain in my heart. It felt like everything's near to over, which was hard to resist.

That incredible pain in the heart froze me in a gloomy state. Only one meter away the car had moved from its initial position, I came in an instant shock that I'm getting more farther from mom, dad and especially brother and started banging the glass pane I was looking through very hardly, as if I would break the glass pane by banging it hard. Every second the car moved forward, it felt like the glass pane got harder and harder no matter how many times and how hard I hit it and breaking it was beyond thoughts. I, kind of got a feeling that in that moment, even if I would have been the strongest woman in the world, I would not have been able to break that glass pane.

 I ended up sobbing and banging on the glass pane. As mom, dad and brother were getting out of sight in the dark; the pain in my heart was growing bigger while my sobbing and banging was eventually getting softer. In this situation, even the aunt who was beside me watching all of it couldn't tell anything to me at all. Within that, the aura of the moment was so vast, devastating and distressing that even the driver couldn't drive the car normally.

I sat down on the seat looking down desperately because that was the only thing I could do in that moment. I got those hatred and demotivational feelings about me and my brother's bond; I was worried that it'd break. For people in hard situations, every second is heavy but in my case, every uncountable millisecond was heavy and painful. Now once think yourself, how every second made up of 60 milliseconds were for me!

This must literally sound like I am exaggerating the pain in my heart but it's real. This is the pain in my heart that a sister who loves her brother unconditionally gets while getting far away from him.

I love my brother more than anyone else or anything else. My love for my brother is more than the size of universe in this world. How? I never slept until he's home. I don't really like homework until he'd teach me and my food would hardly digest until it had been eaten with him.

Even during school time, although we were in same school due to the age gap of 2 years, I and my brother are in varied classroom. Even during school, if I am not with him I feel boring and extend in time. Everything sounded cool, looked easy and was amazing in the presence of brother. Now that I came to think about it, I always took my life miserable and boring without my brother keeping my excellence aside. But, I never thought it had to come to an end like this. He was nearly everything to me in my life but after that moment it felt like I had only a physical body and a soul to move on with; nothing else.

I had a hard time thinking how I'd spend my time without my brother around me. I'd have to be alone all the time in my aunt's house where I was shifting without anyone I can gossip with. I was getting more stressed out and my head was getting heavier and heavier because of the thoughts about how my upcoming days would be.

In the car, after we had driven about 45 minutes, we left our city and entered a new city. I had never visited the city, nor did I have any information.

That day I cried more than my limit and my eyes turned sore so I couldn't anymore. We travelled a long journey. Maybe for 1 full hour in the car, I stared into space. I had fallen asleep in the car and I didn't have any idea about when.

When I woke up early in the morning, it was a misty morning. I opened my eyes as it flattered in sadness of my missing brother!

Only if that incident had never taken place, I and bro'.....................................