Mary against .....

Me against scary movies

I had to start with the one i LOVE .

I am a GIANT FAN  of scary movies. I have seen more scary movies than you in your whole life. I am talking seriously! I have seen every single scary movie since 2010 and i keep going

I am a horror film addict! And i think i know enough to express my opinion about my loves<3 

First of all, lets talk about horror movies cliches 

 Cliche n.1  The hoe.

You know .. The one who is a cheerleader, with  that awesome body and a sexy boyfriend... Yeah, 

SHE ALWAYS DIES FIRST (, or maybe second if there is a black guy in the movie.. Damn horror movies are racists)

And she has to. The most of the times she is a b*tch and noone likes her. So we wont miss her. 

Conclusion..... If you are still a virgin, or at least not a cheerleader, you are going to survive in a horror movie

Cliche n.2 The virgin. 

Oh we hate * slaps me* We LOVE her. That cute girl who just wants to find the true love and to have sex (finally ). And the one who survives at the and( or she dies because Bullsh*t)

But i have a question. The majority of the films i saw was in America. You guys are still virgins till your 20 ? If you answered yes then congrants you have just getted my mind f*cked ( racist joke about America. Well done myself. Now go kill yourself-do you realise what did you just said ?-shhhhhh)

And almost,ALMOST always she is going to kill the killer. Or at least give a happy and to the movie? I dont know, horror movies should not have a happy end. Just kill everyone already!

Cliche n.3 The boyfriend

Or the brave one who tries to protect the virgin. He survives till almost the end, but then the killer appears and surprise (!) kills him. The movie would be better without him. Why? because he says 

" i 'm gonna protect you."

" I' gonna save you"

" I love you"

and then he dies like an assh*le. 

Cliche 4. The killer. 

Oh , you know i love you. .... Actually i am in love with the way they think and act. They may be really clever, or extremely insane. I like both of the versions

And some more cliches YOU know, you hate and you love

~No Battery on the phone( because everyone forgets it . Well F* phones! Even though they could save you

 ~ She falls down when the killer is coming( like seriously, she falls on a straight way, withought stairs or something to make her fall. Because she has no balance)

~ A friendly old man dies( and we cry)

~ Clueless cops never help( and usually die because they deserve it)

~ Even if the phone has battery , it has NO SIGNAL ( Because logic)

~ The "hello?" line ( you know, the one that the stupid person says, as if the killer is going to answer. " Yeah, i am in the living room watching a movie, wanna join?"

~ The car wont start ( because why not?)

~Found footage( of the killer, maybe a movie or idk , something important that explains a lot)

~" Lets split up!" ( and always something goes wrong... Like , havent you seen scooby doo? They always split up and then fail to catch the ghost)

~ Scary thing behind the protagonist ( And you scream "its behind you , just look behind you, dont be such an idiot just....oh" And the thing disappears.  that thing may be on a mirror at the bathroom or at a hallway, but eitherway noone ever notice)

~ Killer died but didnt actually died( Cause nobosy checks the body second time)

~ A loud noise( that turns out to be nothing, and you have just waisted a few minutes of your life)

~ There is something in the bathroom( the killer)

~ There is something in the back seat( The killer)

~ Jump scare from a friend ( who dies, or he is killers buddy)

~ If there is a party and teens someone is going to die (probably the sl*t)

~  Going in the attic ( because logic)

~ Going in the basement( and die)

And some cliche from paranormal horror movies

~ Not moving out when you find out that the house is haunted 

~ Not calling someone to help( go to church maybe)

~ Creepy child ( always!It may help, maybe not, but it is funny )

~ Children talk to ghosts and everyone believes its an imaginary friend( ITS A GHOST DAMN IT!)

~ Possesion of a woman  ( Because horror movies are sexists too)

~Too mych blood

~ Too much scream

~ "  A noise from somewhere in the house. Better go there!"

~ The hysterical girl ( yes , always a girl, ) that dies because of noises. 

~ A failed exorcism

And the list goes on

Why hollywood? 

The characters die because they take bad decisions.

And now we have some rules 

NO DOG MUST DIE DURING THE MOVIE. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I love dogs . People should die, not them( One minute silence for all the pets that died during horror films)

Me * cries for that cute dog that the ghost killed*

OK I dont think i have something else to say...

I may make a second part, if i think something. 

Please support me with your stars and your views. 

Or may the Jason be with you( Friday the 13th ? No, ok.....)

Oh, and here is a list whith the new horror movies i loved, and i believe you should watch( Mainly because there are not so many cliches)

~ Dont breathe

~ THe Babadook

~ The zodiac

~ The conjuring ( both of them)

~The poltergeist

~ Ouija

~ The boy

~ The ring ( not the 3rd one, it is boring)

~ The witch ( that was a funny one)

Well, i can t think something else

Bye!!!!!!!!!!