Punk Direction (niall Horan Love Story)

Chapter 26

I don’t know how it happened, but it damn well happened! I was about to get out the car to go shopping for Christmas with Danny because I needed to get my parents and my sisters something. Danny was thrilled that I was going to the mall with her. She always liked that and I loved to see her happy so I offered to go with her. After she gave me Niall’s Christmas present right when I got to the car, I had to do something for her. Niall’s present was a simple ring with ‘Mine?’ engraved on the inside. I knew the meaning of that question. It was almost like he was begging me to wear the ring… as long as I was wearing it, he would know I was his. Knowing how much I loved simple things, he nailed it. It also came with his house keys and a note that said ‘I love you! Merry Christmas princess!”

Danny tried to cheer me up but I was visibly exhausted. I worked all day to the fundraising with Danny and then I had to go say goodbye to my boyfriend. Yeah, I needed to rest as quick as possible. I was tired and needed to sleep, so when Danny asked me to go shopping with her, I didn’t argue, I agreed right away because I didn’t want to argue and I actually had to go shopping for Christmas.

Anyways, all I know, is that when I was about to get into the shopping center, a crowd formed around me. Danny held my hand instantly, almost feeling the panic attacks as strongly as I was starting to feel them. She looked around the people to find a place for me to get out of there. She didn’t found any. Soon the space I was in was so cramped I couldn’t stop from letting some tears down my eyes. The thing with my panic attacks are that I can’t scream, or yell, I just stay there and cry silently till someone comes in my rescue. Thankfully I got Danny for that one.

“Yes, she’s dating Niall Horan, get the fuck out of our way!” She yelled, upset about my crying and my sudden panic attack

Holding me tightly and taking the crowds distraction as an advantage, Danny made a way towards the mall and quickly got us into the nearest bathroom. I sighed in relief and sat in the ground, against the wall, my arms around my legs. I was trying to get rid of the panic feeling inside of me. Breathing irregularly, I looked at Danny.

Her eyes were soft. She hated seeing me like this. I couldn’t blame her, I bet I was an awful thing to look at right now. My cheeks should still e stained with treat marks, my eyes a complete solid grey color and my face completely drained out of blood. She hated to see me this vulnerable and she also knew that I only opened up about my personal space with some people. Like her, or my family, and Niall. No one else is allowed to share the same close environment as me. I always respected my personal space too much, and my body too. If people I don’t like or don’t know start to touch me, I enter a complete brain freeze experience or I start screaming, those are two of the certain. I could do a lot more, kicking people, blacking out, crying without moving… Those wouldn’t take me anywhere, but still, none of the previous two would if I was alone with one else besides me.

I shivered when people entered the bathroom. The previous empty bathroom was now filled with teenagers… punk teenagers. Most of them had visible tattoos or piercings, but I don’t generalize normally. There must have been some girl with none of those things, but I was more concerned about the fact that my panic attack was coming stronger. I saw Danny’s hands becoming wrists before I hid my face between my knees.

“Get the fuck out of here!” She harshly said “Can’t you see she’s suffering!” She had no response from the crowd.

I allowed myself to sob this time. I was feeling awful, and that type of awful only comes with a panic attack as a complement. I felt Danny’s hand in my arm and I quickly looked up, shoving it back against her. I was admired with my own actions but I wasn’t the master of them, I was still shaken by. I was surrounded in a matter of seconds.