help! #MindOverMatterContest

help!

drowning victims ask for help! before they are submerged.

they flail their arms once they realize they arent strong enough to keep themselves up. in that moment, they learn they need help! and they know there is a chance someone will see them.

unfortunately, if the pride of the victim is too strong, it leads to them realizing far too late they shouldve sought refuge much earlier.

when i am at my worst, my ego inflates to the size of a hot air balloon, making my face turn red and sending my head into the clouds with unrealistic expectations. it becomes a game of how far i can float before i hit the moon and stars explode around me.

a game of how far i can take it before i self-destruct, similar to a rocket overheating.

these moments of overheating come in spurts, almost like the coolant in the engine is going straight to the pavement below me as opposed to doing its job. my life begins to look like something resembling a forest fire, where you know the soil will end up ready for new plants to grow, but at what cost?

the times where i have been entirely filled with negative thoughts hurt. they burn, and make it hard to breathe for fear of choking. they completely entangle my mind in vines and ropes and everything commonly used in similes about being trapped. they know how to get exactly what they want or need.

leeches on my brain.

to get rid of a leech, you need to directly find the wound its attached to and use your fingernail to push it off of you. you cant even feel the leech because of the anesthetic they induce when they first bite you. this represents the numbness i feel to the darkness that fills every ounce of my body, every organ.

drowning victims know theyre drowning. thats why i cant relate myself to one of them. they know whats going to happen.

someone being bitten by a leech has no idea because they cant feel it. someone else usually points out the giant, black, slimy animal on your body and expresses their concern. my pain is a leech.

my pain needs to be scraped off with a fingernail. my pain is that of a mosquito bite, where once you notice it, it completely absorbs all of your attention. my pain is not something to be taken lightly, but instead faced head on because if you leave it, it gets infected.

im not very strong. i dont notice a lot of the things other people do about myself. i dont see myself as someone with problems.

but you can be very sure that when i find something taking my blood and distracting me, it will not remain.

i push out my negative thoughts the way a firefighter runs into a burning building. with purpose and a plan.

i am not drowning.

i am being bitten.

i will be okay.

i will survive.