Aurora

Chapter 1

I can't believe who I am. No, wait, that's wrong. I can't believe who I was. Would that person even recognize me? Would they want to? Maybe I should stop dwelling on the past when all it does it remind me how I was, and keeps me from looking to the future. How about this: I will tell my story only one more time. So that you may find a way for yourself to grow like I did. We must begin in a dead end for us to be able to go anywhere. For me that dead end was the routine i had fallen into.

Let's start with who I am. I'm Alexa, Alex for short, which I've always liked better. I'm 16, and a sophomore at Greenfield High School. I live in Boulder, Colorado. That day things changed for me started as a normal morning. Blandly normal even. My alarm went off at 5:30, like every weekday. I got up, did my makeup and put my long hair, dyed blond, up in a ponytail. Now I think I looked like some doll in a toy store, but back then I thought I looked okay. I picked out a long white shirt, some leggings, and my converse. I then went downstairs where my mom and dad were waiting for me with a nice hot breakfast. Pancakes and berries were my favorite. My dad liked to tease that it was a spoiled princess's breakfast. And I would always tell him that I was a princess and deserved worship. I wasn't quite that conceited but it was fun to pretend. That used to make him laugh. Not a belly laugh, but a chuckle of satisfaction and exasperation in equal measure. I used to not notice it, but in the days to come, I would've given anything to hear it again. But back to that particular morning. I ate my breakfast, grabbed my bag that had already been packed by my parents, and headed out to the bus. My parents drove me to school until middle school. But of course, by that time your parents dropping you off isn't cool. I was popular in grade school, well as popular as you can get with a bunch of kids, and so I had a reputation to protect. It hurt their feelings, but they would have to deal with it. By high school my reputation was far too important to worry about their feelings. Kids can be vicious, and I wasn't about to let anyone have leeway to put a knife in my back. So many people wanted to , of course, since I wasn't exactly nice to most people. They best hope I didn't find out, 'cause if I caught wind of it, I would shut it down. I was cutthroat too in my own way. I would mention that I had heard a rumor about the person. It didn't require much imagination. Say that someone cheated on someone or was cheated on. Either worked well, and I was a pretty good liar. But honestly, sometimes I think I could have said somebody had eaten a donut and it would ruin them.  They would get shoved so far down the social ladder that they would be to occupied with all the friends they were losing; they would forget about getting to me. But they would know I was the one who did it to them, and they would know that I had won, and they would know they had lost. When we got to school I got off the bus first. Everybody always got out of my way. They knew who I was. At home I was a princess, here, I was a queen. As I walked into the gym, I saw the jocks walk in with the cheerleaders. I looked for a particular face. And there it was: Jessica. She was the captain of the cheer leading team. She was an amazing athlete, and an amazing person on top of it. She looked like a model you would see on TV or a magazine, but she acted like a human. She always was kind to other people, she helped people both as a friend and, if they needed it, with school. I've wanted to talk to her for a few months. I would love to be her friend, but we didn't talk at all basically, and I was comfortable enough with my friend group, and I didn't want to risk losing that.

"You're looking at Sampson, aren't you?" teased my friend Ashley. Incidentally, she had been trying to hook the two of us up for the past three years.

"I've told you so many times, he's not my type. Please will you let it die?"

"Are you kidding? Of course not, you know I wouldn't give up on the perfect couple."

"Whatever." I sighed and rolled my eyes.

I really doubted she would ever quit. At least she wasn't drunk. That's when it got really bad. Of course that wasn't the worst thing about her being drunk. I hated it when she drank. I've known her since like 3rd grade so she was like a sister to me. But every time she went out, got drunk, and went home with her freaking boyfriend, it just killed me, that guy was just terrible and I hated to think about how much she still loved him.  But try as I might, she never admitted that she was anything less than happy. If I had cared more back then...well, i don't really know. I'll never know now I guess.

But back to the story, soon after that exchange, a new group caught Ashley's eye. The freaks. That's what everyone called them at least. These were basically the social outcasts. The less attractive druggies, the kids who listen to weird music, the nerds, and the kids who nobody likes; you know the type. They were the kind of people that you wouldn't even bother being nice to their faces, no one would call you out on it if you weren't.

           "Ugh, what are they doing in the gym," Ashely scoffed, with an air of haughtiness very few people could match, "do they even know how to run? They should go back to whatever hole they crawled from and just die so we don't have to look at them." Even by her standards, that was exceedingly harsh.

"Ashley!" I exclaimed. "That was horrible!"

"Everybody thinks it. I'm just the only one who says it."

"No one says it because it's horrible."

"Chill, okay? It's just a bunch of losers. Why do you care?"

"Because..." I couldn't tell her she was being mean, it would look like I was siding with them over her. "Because they might hear you and come talk to us to get us to stop."

"Oh, you're right. Eww. I guess I'll stop then." Then the bell rang, we went to class, and the conversation moved on.

The rest of the day went as it usually does, for some reason though, I couldn't seem to get any of my work done. I still don't know why. I guess I was just distracted, or I hadn't gotten enough sleep, or it was just too loud. Regardless, I just couldn't focus enough to get really anything done. My first hour, science, was a breeze like it always was, the teacher just threw on a video and left to go to the teachers lounge, or outside for a smoke break, so of course there was no watching the movie. Well maybe a few geeks in the corner who were really into how mountains were formed. Me, Ashley, Sidney, and Faith just talked. Sidney's cousin in florida had just opened a new hotel and it was supposedly doing really well.

"At least, that's what he says," Sidney said with an eyeroll that suggested she didn't believe her cousin, "my mom says the hotel business in florida isn't a good thing to go into. She thinks he'll be out of business in a week."

"I wish there was someone who was even trying to make a lot of money and my family," Faith piped up, "like, my parents are making a good amount of money, but we're not like rich, rich." She was absolutely rich.

"My grandfather is rich," I added, "moved up to alaska a few years ago to get into some business, it got huge and now he's rich."

"Why do you call him grandfather," inquired Faith, "it's so formal."

"I don't know, my parents made me for a while and it just stuck. He's always told me to just call him grandpa, but I listened more to my parents."

The rest of the day went as it usually did. For some reason though, I couldn't seem to get any of my work done. I still don't know why. I guess I was just distracted, or I hadn't gotten enough sleep, or it was just too loud. Regardless, I just couldn't focus enough to get really anything done. Then, about ten minutes before fifth hour was going to be out, the intercom came on.

"Mrs. Green, could you please send Alexa Dimitri down to the counselor's office for a chat."

The counselor's office? Oh, god, what did the counselor want with me? I had never even talked to the counselor before, much less been to her office. I got up and walked out of the classroom. I casually strolled down the hallways, taking my time. Not like I was going someplace I wanted to get too fast. And more time out of class is always good. I eventually got to the counselors, and as soon as I walked into the door, I knew that something serious must have happened. My grandfather was there, and he was not comfortable around people. He hadn't come down from Alaska since my grandma had died last year.

           "Oh god," I said "well, if you're here, the world must be ending. Did you want to check me out of school before the world is destroyed."

"Sit down Alexa." Crap. My grandfather is a tough man, but even he seemed about to cry. Whatever I was here for was bad.

But I had to keep my tough face on, "So," I said hopefully sounding uninterested as I flopped into an armchair "who died?"

" Your parents." Two words from my grandfather. That was all it took. Two words, and my world shattered.