Heroine

One's Bitter Reflection

I stare blankly at the tall mirror before me, my pale face illuminated by the rising sun. I hear the sweet soprano of two birds engaged in conversation, the bright tone resounding from their throats fails to deafen the rapid heartbeat raging in my ears. Tears start to fall from my right eye, though my left remains completely dry.

I try to remind myself that it is okay to cry, that my attempts at masking my emotions are unhealthy and futile. Yet, my mother's voice threatens to derail this argument.

"Stop crying!" she would demand, a harsh, disappointed tone evident in her voice and on her face. Her brows would furrow in frustration, and her mouth would form a tight frown.

I can't, I think to myself. I wish I could respond. But she's not there to scold me for my sensitivity. For now, it is just me, facing my reflection in the mirror with disgust.

I want to smash it. I imagine raising a strong, unbreakable fist. Clenching so hard my knuckles become white, I would slam my right fist into the centre of the mirror, hearing it shatter within an instant. I would carry a satisfied grin, as I am no longer in the presence of a sallow face, my sallow face, staring back at me. My palms would be swollen and bloody, but the injury would be painless as the adrenaline rushes through me gallantly. I have defeated my worst enemy. My greatest weakness, the one who holds me back and tells me I am worthless. Talentless. Insincere. Solace engulfs me at the thought of being free of expectation, of envy and self-pity. 

I feel the taut strings loosen, as the master abandons their puppet. I am slumped forward, my back bent and my arms hanging atop my knees. I sit up, my newly-free hands feeble as I gather the wiry threads in my hands, feel the tight pinch in my upper back as I rip them off with one fatal pull. I sigh in relief as I throw the strings haphazardly behind me. Walking away, my body moves with unconquerable confidence, my posture is perfect and my footsteps purposeful. I am an unstoppable force, a being of universal power and strength. My shoulders no longer ache with the heavy weight of my world upon them. Instead, I carry myself alone, free of identity, free of judgement or comparison. I am unbeknownst to everyone, yet immortalized so as to never be forgotten. I am a heroine.