Entry #1 {Jealousy}

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Is it wrong to feel jealous? I moved away from my home and friends. I moved away from my life.

I should he happy, shouldn't I? I mean, she has also been through a lot and the fact that she is finally happy again is good. I should feel awesome but... I don't.

What I mean is, I am happy that she is happy but I'm sad that she is making different friends and may potentially forget about me or we may grow apart.

I wish we didn't move. I wish we could have stayed there. I wish I didn't ruin everything. I wish I was a good person but it seems as though the only thing I can do is push people away or always dampen their moods.

My heart tightens at the thought of my best friend forgetting about me. I know her other best friend and her had grown apart over the years and her and I became best friends.

Now I live far away from our home and my best friend might... Forget about me.

I don't want to think about it but I have to face reality and the reality is; we won't move back. People will forget about me. I won't have the same relationship with my friends or the people I grew up with ever again.

It's a sad and quite depressing reality but... It's still reality.

Signing out now,

Anonymous x
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