Born To Be Wild

Chapter One

•Connor•

"Gooood morning morning morning!" I groan and roll over as I hear the voice of my best friend Elizabeth, or Liza as I call her. "Liza, it's too early. Shut up and let me sleep." "Nuh uh! It's the first day of school! You wouldn't want to miss out on any of that hot, sexy crush of yours would you?" I take a moment to think. Go to school and see the man of my dreams, or stay rolled up like a burrito on my nice comfy bed for another day? I snuggle deeper into the covers. Burrito it is. I hear Liza sigh in the background "I really didn't want to have to do this today but you've given me no choice." And suddenly, I have no air in my lungs as what feels like a whale flops on my stomach.

"Get off me whale bitch!" "Whale bitch?" "Yeah. Whale bitch" I finally decide to open my eyes to the outside world. The first thing I can focus on is my besties split died hair (purple and blue) and aqua eyes. Then I notice the mischievous gleam in her eyes. "Oh. You're gonna pay for that one later." Oh god. What did I get myself into? "Whatever asshole. Just get off me. I need to do my hair" "Ugh fine. I swear to god Connor, you're worse than me. Every single strand of hair has to be immaculate or else you won't show your face in public. You're like he fucking Draco Malfoy of the real world. You've even got the same eyes! The only thing that's different is that your hair is brown!" "Don't diss Draco Malfoy. He's bae!" Liza gives me a piercing look. "If you say so. If you ask me, Hermione is one hot babe" She fans herself with her hand "I wouldn't think twice before tapping that." "Shut your lesbian ass pie hole. I don't wanna know what you fantasise doing to her." She pokes her tongue out at me and I return the favour. "You're just jealous because I can get girls easy" with that she gets up and dusts herself off. "Well it is time for me to let you get ready. I'll be downstairs waiting. Don't take to long. And no wanking! Adios amigo." She turns around and high tails out the door a split second before I throw my cactus pillow (it also has a moustache). I groan and roll over. I need to get up. In 5 hours. I sigh before pushing back my covers and swinging my legs out of bed. I walk over to the mirror and take a quick peak. HOLY FUCK IS THAT GOLLUM?! Oh wait, it's just me.

As I gather my clothes to take a shower I think about my future. "Will it include my dearest Luke? Who cares. More importantly, would I be classified as insane if I bought a hairless cat just so I could name it Sméagol or Gollum? Who the fuck's gonna judge me. Fuck society. Benedict Cumberbatch is so dreamy though *sigh*. Why can't he live in America because SHERLOCK!! Sherlock Season 5 won't be out for ages. This is why I cry myself to sleep every night! The ending to Season 4 was so sad. But don't even get me started on Eddie Redmayne as Newt Scammander in Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them. What about the Phelps twins who play Fred and George in Harry Potter? I don't know if James or Oliver is hotter. Oh well. But holy shit Orlando Bloom as Legolas in Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit! Like did it just get hot in here?? But then Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins is cute too. Tom Felton as Draco Malfoy!!! He's like sex on legs. Legit the only girl I would turn straight for is Emma Watson. Have you seen her? She's so beautiful! Especially as Belle and Hermione Granger" I snap out of my reverie that had me staring at a wall like an insane person. I should take that shower now.