Conspiracies

14. Opening doors.

Was it already planned since he met me? Or did he decide to manipulate me and steal my life after we got married? As I put together the pieces Brita had given me of the puzzle that was Lasse, the person with whom I had shared nearly thirty years of my life was fading by the second. I felt so stupid, so guilty. I had let him use me as he wished. I had fueled his dangerous ambition. But that was over. Now it was my turn to make him pay for everything he had done.

"Is there something bothering you?" He asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

He was lying on the same bed, with the same white blankets and nightgown. He had fewer wires and his skin color was the same as ever. He looked healthy, with his usual illuminating smile. "Sorry, I was thinking of other things." I said as affectionately as I could. "You look much better."

"You have seen me before?"

"Yes, when you were sleeping. But I did it without the permission of the good doctor Ben." I smiled.

"What you wouldn't do for me, darling, and what wouldn't I do for you." Exactly what I wouldn't do for you.

"What have the doctors told you?" I asked.

I walked over to the bed, and Lasse made a space for me where I laid down next to him. He ran his hand through my hair, then stroked my cheek with his thumb. He smiled. 

"In a few days, I'll be fully recovered. There's nothing that can stop me, honey." he said smiling.

He got closer to me, and I hugged him. He gave off a warmth that embraced me and drew me closer to him. I felt the tears try to bloom in my weak eyes again, but I suppressed them as fast as I could. 

He couldn't see me like this. I couldn't allow it. 

"Hey," he said gently lifting my head, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes," I hastened to reply, "it's all this. The hospital, you, Jens, my sister, everything. I feel like this is starting to get to me."

And I started crying like a five-year-old. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to vent. The rivers of tears ran fiercely down my icy features. I buried myself in his chest, trying to hide from all my problems. 

"Easy honey, we're about to leave here, don't worry." He hugged me and pulled me into his welcoming chest. I kept crying without being able to stop the tears. I wanted to scream, I wanted to break the entire room, to free myself from everything. I was so tired, so fed up.

"Sorry. I didn't want our reunion to be like this." I said, pulling away from his chest and wiping away my tears. 

"Don't worry, it's normal for you to feel like that. I cannot imagine all that you have been able to suffer in these last few days." No honey, of course, you didn't know. 

"I want to tell you so many things. I want to talk about so much..." My voice trailed off.

"Don't worry. We'll have all the time in the world when I get out of here, and we'll do whatever you want."

He came up to my face, swollen from crying, and stood in front of me. I noticed his breath on my features, I looked into his eyes. He leaned in closer, and our lips met. We melted into an eternal kiss. He pulled me closer to him. He ran his hot lips down my neck to my collarbone. He stopped and looked at me again.

"I've missed you so much. I always dreamed of you, with your lips, with your bright eyes, and your soft hair. You do not know what I have been able to yearn for you all this time in my life, nothing will separate us again. I'll never leave you alone again."