Fallen Demon

Chapter 11: Lavana

            Two weeks had come and went but I still refused to leave the small room. Everything hurt too much. There were so many questions and every answer simply gave me more questions. Ash was caring for me for reasons I didn't know and reasons he refused to give. He avoided it every time I asked. He'd been bringing me food, books, paper, anything really. I had been refusing his kindness for the entire time I had locked myself away.

I didn't know why he pestered me to rest or eat when I was already dead. I didn't have to when I was just a soul. But as time went on, I was starting to feel guilty. He was offering me kindness and perhaps a friendship, only for me to push him away. I wondered if he could see the damage Diana had left me.

I thought she cared for me. We were found together and were together for so long afterward. The more I thought about it the more hurt I became. I shouldn't have trusted her. Why had we been found so close to each other? Why were we together? Why did I stay with her? Was she scared of me leaving her? I thought... It didn't matter anymore, did it? She has decided her fate regardless of what it meant for me.

I still couldn't process everything. I was a demon yet I wasn't. I was an in-between. I was nothing. I was strong but why? What was the voice in the darkness? Why didn't it just kill me? I couldn't understand anything.

I flinched when I heard the door open. I didn't realize it but I had hidden away my tail and wings on instinct. I huffed slightly at the response. Why did I put them away? Was I ashamed? I let them slip back out when I saw Ash walk in.

"Hello, sweetheart," Ash's smile was strained when he saw the uneasiness on my face.

He sat down next to me. He left some space between us. I felt the guilt hit me. He wanted me to open up but refused to push more than he already had.

"I-I," I felt myself fall into the pool of guilt. Ash had been doing his best to help me. I bit down on my lip as I wrapped my arms around my knees. I glanced up at him. Those gold eyes watched me intently as he waited for me to say anything. I stared at those eyes and I just couldn't feel any bad intentions. I could almost feel the darkness wrap around me telling me it would be alright. "I was supposed to be an angel."

Ash didn't have to say anything for me to feel the tension oozing off of his to fill the room.

"Diana... S-she threw me away. She took the light. I didn't know what to do. I just froze," I could feel my eyes burn as tears threatened to spill, "She dragged me and threw me into the shadows. She didn't hesitate. Why? Why didn't she even hesitate? We were friends... Why? I just-just can't make sense of any of it."

The air around us became heavy as I continued to let all my thoughts out.

"The shadows they grabbed onto me. It burned so much I felt like I was being consumed by fire. I was just screaming and crying and I couldn't do anything as it just ate me."

I could feel my eyes glass over as I placed my head on my knees. I couldn't look at Ash anymore and instead just kept my eyes forward.

"And then it just stopped. The pain was still there but it had become numb. The shadows... I-I could feel their confusion... that's when it spoke to me..."

I felt my heart slow as shadows rose out of me to brush up against my skin. I was sure Ash could see them as they gently cocooned around me like a blanket.

"It told me I didn't belong. But, it also told me it would be alright because it would care for me when they wouldn't. I-I was..."

My hand brushed back my hair as I lowered my eyes to the ground. I felt my head burn but I ignored the slight pain.

"I wanted to show everyone what she did to me. I don't really know if I wanted the halo back or not I just know I was... I was just so... angry..."

I shivered at the thought. How could I have let me emotion snap like that? Was I like that when I was alive? I felt the darkness around me flare as me head began to throb. I placed a shaky hand over my eye as my vision became fuzzy. Everything was blurring as I tried to keep myself from falling over.

"Lavana?" I could hear the slight panic in his voice as I shot up to my feet.

I tried to walk. I didn't know where I would go but I felt like I had to leave. My legs wobbled and I didn't make it far before I dropped to the ground. I sat on my knees as my hands moved to grab the sides of my head. Alarm rung around me as my breathing became uneven and labored. I began to curl into a fetal position.

"Can you hear me?! Lavana! Hey! La-"Ash called out for me but it was cut off by the voices that were beginning to echo in my mind.

I screamed as the darkness lunged out of me to consume my world.