A friendship beyond words

The wedding

I didn't expect to be crying, I just wanted to get in and get out. I don't know why I decided to even stay late, I could've gone home with my sister. I had come to the wedding because I had been friends with the bride. I had loved the girl from the depths of my heart, but we hadn't really spoken in over a year. We drifted apart and I took it personally. I came to her bridal shower, then her wedding because she had been my friend, but I was covering all my pain behind a mask. I had decided that once the wedding was over I wouldn't talk to her unless she reached out to me. But even then we could never be close again, I don't need friends who come and go. I pretended that I didn't care, that she really didn't mean much to me. See, throughout my life I really hadn't had many friends but when I decide someone is worth my time, they mean the world to me. And to find a true friend like her was a rarity, or so I thought. When it seemed like she chose other friends before me it hurt. When I found out that she was engaged through a mutual friend it felt like betrayal. When I listened to our friends chat on and on about her wedding plans I felt left out, so I just put on a smile and pretended I was ok. I had other friends, there were people that truly cared about me. But I did feel alone in the world, I hid my heart behind a carefully guarded wall. There are many people that consider me a friend, but only a handful have been let in my life and left an impact on me. Not many have penetrated to the depths of my heart and gotten to know me for who I really am, and she was one of them. I still wanted to share a moment with her. When many of the guests were leaving the reception I found her surrounded by girls chatting. She truly did look stunning, and after all the hurt I still loved her. I went over and we took a few pictures. I was wearing the necklace she had gifted me, and she noticed. She went on taking pictures with others and I went off to the side. That's when I saw her mom and went over to say hi. They saw that moms have a strong intuition and she saw right through me. We began chatting and she went right to the heart of things. She was telling me that she once had a friend, who once she was in a relationship with a guy left her out. She was saying that girls do stupid things like that, but that she saw a good friendship between me and her daughter. She started talking to me and it took only moments for the floodgates to open up as the tears began streaming down my face. She told me to hold on to our memories, that her daughter really did value our friendship. She hugged me for a while as mascara ran down my face. That was the piece of hope I was seeking, and it left me in shambles.  I cried it out in the locker room of the country club, and splashed my red eyes trying to reach a state of normalcy before returning back to the reception. The pain had been torn out of a dark corner of my heart where I stuffed it and shut it tight. Although it hurt now more than ever my heart began to mend. I don't know when I'll see her again, I don't know if we'll ever be good friends. I realize that a good friend is worth fighting for, and I'll always cherish our moments together. And each new memory I create with those I know care about me is but a fleeting moment worth treasuring.