Separated In Love

Chapter 7

I look down at the hand holding me back, "Yes Ryan?".

"Can we talk?"

"About?". He looks hurt as I release myself from his grip.

"You know what". I just look at him. "Would you let me explain, it's a misunderstanding"

"I know"

"Nothing happened-" he cut short. "You know?" he asks. I nod.

"I know you didn't sleep with the lady at the hotel, I know that".

"Then what is happening, why were you locked up in your room?"

"Because I am heartbroken, can I go now?"

"Why wouldn't you talk to me? I thought everything was fine with us"

"Is it!, Is it really fine with us or do you wish it was fine 'cause I don't think everything is fine, Ryan" I shout.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean, hmm" I put my hand on my chin like I am thinking and start pacing. "Let me see. Ha!" I say sarcastically. "Let's start with the fact that you don't talk to me about anything, and the fact that you are somehow always too busy for me or is it the fact that you probably only see me as a sex partner and not a wife, you always leave the bed after we've been together even before the separation. You think I didn't always know when you left the bed or that you always sneak back in when you think I would soon be awake? I always reason for you that it was probably work, but who is works at three in morning all the time. What is the reason now? That you don't want to rush things, that you are still busy, you want us to ease our way back to normalcy? Do you know much my heart breaks every time you leave the room? Am I the problem, his he not satisfied with me? Did I do something wrong? does he not love me? I hate what goes my mind and I especially hate how you make me feel!" I shout, "Do you get what I mean now?" I ask staring at him.

"You know I am busy, Mae with school and work. I thought you understood!" he shouts.

"Is that all you are going to say? You are not the only one joggling a company and school, Ryan. I do it too and I still make time for you. That is what love and sacrifice is" I shout back. "You know what? I can not do this with you now, I am tired". I say and walk upstairs.

"You know I love you Mae" he calls after me.

"Clearly not enough" I walk back up but stop and look back to him, "Just saying the word isn't enough anymore, Ryan" I state and go up. I can't help the tears that fall when I enter my room, it felt like a huge burden left my shoulders. I didn't know how much I needed to say those things to him. I climb my bed, curl up in a ball and fall asleep while still crying.

***

I still can not believe I spoke my mind to Ryan yesterday. Wow. I stare at the ceiling.

Ring Ring

My phone chimes, Its a text from Ava and Raina on our group text.

How are you? - A

Talk to us, what is going on? - R

Lucas doesn't know as well - A

Ryan wouldn't talk to me as well - R

I look at the text but ignore it. I don't want to talk about it but how do I make them understand that.

My phone signals another text, I pick it up and see it's from Paul. The same Paul who made Celine come over.

Hi - P