Are you afraid of the RAIN?

I don't know if I loved you or the idea of you. It has been four months but I still don't know. Isn't it kind of weird that the only person I loved or thought I loved doesn't talk to me anymore?

I remember the time we were alone in your penthouse at that night. You were looking into my eyes and I was looking at you back. I felt like I was looking into a mirror. I thought your eyes were reflecting my thoughts and emotions. In that moment, I thought we were infinite. I thought we were completing each other in every case. We could talk about anything and everything in the world. I remember us talking about absurdism for about two hours once. You made me feel like you were the only person that wouldn't leave me. 

Unfortunetaly, things are not the way we imagine them. Like all good things in the world, this has to had an end and the endings are not always happy. Sometimes they can be heartbreaking. 

Even though it seems like I left and hurt you because I had to leave town for college, it was you that cut me off. I cannot blame you, though. Because I was the one leaving and I know that there was no way that we could work that long-distance thing. But I cannot help but think that if two people are in love they should be willing to do all the sacrifice to make their relationship work. You didn't try enough to make this work. Actually you didn't even try anything. Once again, I cannot blame you because I didn't do anything either. Therefore, it just leaves us starangers that don't talk anymore because they didn't even want to try. So, do not ever blame me for this situation that we are into because I am not blaming you either and don't ever dare to say that you are not talking to me because of your pride. We both know that pride is just a similar word for cowardness. 

There is a saying that some people watch the rain and some people go outside and get wet. I want to add someting to this sentence. I believe that there are also another kind of people who are so afraid that they can't even admit to themselves that they are afraid to get wet, so they do not even watch the rain from their window. I believe I am the one who watches the rain and you are the one who cannot even admit himself that he is afraid.