The Entirely Truthful Observation Records of My Extra Ordinary Family

23: How does one interpret the actions of a tsundere?

Toothpick

[Still, age 15; me, age 17]

Me: Dad, can take my cake out of the oven when it's done. I just have to run to the store and grab some ingredients for the icing that we're missing.

Mr. Ordinary (looking at his phone): Can't you ask your mother or sister to do it?

Me: Still isn't home from work yet and mom's taking a nap upstairs.

Mr. Ordinary: Fine, I guess I could.

Me: Okay, so I have the timer on but to make sure the inside is fully cooked, when the timer goes off you have to stick a toothpick inside the middle of the cake. If nothing comes out when you pull it out then take the cake out and put it on this wire rack for it to cool.

Mr. Ordinary (distractedly): Uh huh.

Me (grabbing my bag): Remember to do the toothpick test okay?

Mr. Ordinary: Yeah. Toothpick test. Got it.

Me:Thanks, dad!

[I leave.]

[30 minutes later I return from the grocery store.]

Me: Is the cake done yet, dad?

Mr. Ordinary: I put it on the rack to cool like you said like five minutes ago.

Me: Great!

[I wait for 10 minutes before moving to cut the cake to ice it. As I cut the cake I realize that the middle of it still isn't cooked.]

Me: Dad! The insides are still uncooked! Didn't you test them before you took them out?

Mr. Ordinary: I did test them!

Me: Then why did you take them out when they're this mushy inside?

Mr. Ordinary: I don't know! They were cooked when I tested them. When I stuck the toothpick into the cake and pulled it out, little bits of cake came out so I took the cake out.

Me [trying to stick the cake hats falling apart back together]: Why would you take it out?! That means it's uncooked! You were supposed to take it out when the toothpick came out clean!

Mr. Ordinary: ...That's not what you said earlier.

Me: That is what I said earlier. Why would you think cake bits coming out would mean it's cooked?

Mr. Ordinary: ...I don't know I thought it was a chocolate crumble cake or a chocolate lava cake or something.

Me: Ugh, daaaad!

Mr. Ordinary: I tried okay!

[When Still gets home later, I recount the incident to her.]

Still: To be fair, you relied on the wrong person. Dad knows even less about baking than he does about cooking. This is the man who once mixed icing sugar and water together, spread it on top of a muffin and then called it a cupcake.

Me: I know but I had no choice. The worst thing was it was already too late to put them back and bake them and I wouldn't mind if the cake was just meant for us but it's not. It's for a going away party for one of my teachers who's retiring.

Still: That's why you're making it again now?

Me: Unfortunately, yes. I'm trying to get it done whilst also trying to finish my homework.

[Mr. Ordinary who had left for somewhere without saying anything returns home.]

Still: Hi, dad.

Me [monotonously]: Hi.

Mr. Ordinary [holding out a bag]: Here. Take it.

Me: What is it?

Mr. Ordinary: A cake. A chocolate cheesecake. 

Still [looking at the logo on the bag]: Wow, isn't this from the bakery across town? I heard their stuff is really good but the line ups are always insane. Did you get this to apologize for messing up Very's cake?

Mr. Ordinary: No! I...uh...just happened to be doing something in that part of the neighbourhood so on a whim, I decided to go get a cake. Since I heard about them online. I didn't specifically go all the way there just for you or anything. I just randomly wanted one.

Me: Okay, enjoy your cheesecake then?

Mr. Ordinary: No! It's for you!

Me: Didn't you just-

Mr. Ordinary: Geez, just take it already!

Still: If you bought them randomly why didn't you get me one?

Mr. Ordinary: There's a limit of one cake per customer. Anyways, here, Very.

Me [finally smiling a bit but still working on making my cake]: Thanks, dad.

Mr. Ordinary: If you're accepting it then why are you still making another one. Don't you like cheesecake?

Me: I do but the cake I'm making isn't meant for me...it's for my teacher and he's lactose intolerant...

Mr. Ordinary [muttering]: ...So you're saying that I went all the way there and waited in line for all that time for nothing?

Me: Not for nothing! I'll enjoy this cheesecake after!

Mr. Ordinary [nonchalantly]: Mn, I'm going upstairs then.

A couple of days later my dad buys Still her own cheesecake from the same store because he just happened to be in the area again and coincidentally happened to line up for a cake.