Hey. I'm going to describe how much I hate you. I was so proud of you once. Before you started to smoke again. Remember? When I was in the mental klinik? When I told you that this was all your fault? When I was broken? When I cut myself? And you? You just told me I would be way to dranatic. I said "yes, you're right" and in the same night I hurted myself again. And one day... I dunno why... you stopped. You stopped being an asshole. You were the dad I always wanted. But no. It was only for a short while. Then you putted of your mask and ... argh. You remember when you slapped me when I was a child? I asked you, if this is true because I really wasn't sure. And you said "yes, it's true. It wasn't enough slaps." I was surprised. How can you just... be such an asshole? How can you give a fuck about me? How can Mom even love you? Oh and if my sister would feel what I feel you would instantly care and would be worried about here. Don't get a wrong idea. I love my sister. You love my sister, too but... you don't love me. I'm still trying to be your perfect girl. I know you want a normal child. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being the suicidal Alia. And not the normal Dymphey. I hope you're going to understand me one day. But I think that this won't happen. So, go on with your life. But don't think that i'm going to go your way with you.
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