Airbourne | A Diggy Simmons Story |

Chapter 93

December

Yn's POV

A month and a half has past since my husband has left this earth and I know this hurt will never go away. Christmas is coming up but I'm not in the mood to fake like everything will be okay with a bunch of people that didn't know what we were going through. Thanksgiving had came and gone, spending it with Grayson, The Yungs, Tuck, Alayna, and my mom.

I've been in bed, unable to eat or sleep or even answer my phone. Mom's been trying to keep Grayson occupied, helping him with school and food, keeping his mind off everything that's going on. I know he's finally coming to terms that his dad isn't coming home and all I want to do is hug him and never let him go.

Mrs. Blake: "Hey baby. Angela is here," my mom said as she entered my room.

Yn: "Thank you mom but can you tell her I'm asleep," I asked as I turned away from the door. She sighed and walked back out.

Seconds later, I heard footsteps proceeding down the hall, stopping at my door. I groaned.

Angela: "Hey sweetie. I know you don't want company but I really wanted to check up on you. Your mom says you haven't been eating or anything and I'm worried about you. We're all worried about you."

I turned towards her as she came to sit on the bed next to me. I hadn't seen her since the funeral and I know her heart was genuine. I sat up and looked at her.

Yn: "I'm sorry Ange. I just can't take the stares and reassuring 'it's going to be okay' when I know it's not. No one knows how it feels to lose the love of your life to someone else's stupidity. God! Ange! Why didn't that guy die instead? Why did it have to be Alex?"

My eyes began to water and tears began to explode from them.

Angela: "I know honey." She pulled me into her and let me just cry in her chest.

It felt good not being judged and being understood. My mom tried but she never knew how to deliver it correctly.

Yn: "When will the hurt be over, Ange? When will I be able to cope with what has happened?"

Angela: "No one knows, Yn. At this point no one can blame you but can you do one thing for me?"

Yn: "What is that?"

Angela: "Eat."

Yn: "I have no appetite."

Angela: "Okay. Well let's go see Grayson. He's downstairs doing homework and I'm sure that he could use some help."

Yn: "I don't know."

Angela: "Please?"

Yn: "Fine. I guess I have to go try and fix myself up. He can't see me like this."

I got up and went into the bathroom. I really let myself go but I did owe it to my son to be around. I got into the shower, washing my hair and allowing the steam to relax me a little. After oiling up and putting on some jeans and a sweat shirt, I went downstairs with Ange.

Grayson: "Mommy," he ran towards me as I walked into the kitchen.

Yn: "Hey stink," I picked him up, kissing him.

Grayson: "You smell good."

I giggled as he nestled his face in my neck. My mom smiled, getting up from the table and going over to the fridge to grabbed us waters. I put Grayson down and sat next to him.

Yn: "What're you working on?"

Grayson: "Adding and Subtracting."

Yn: "Is granny helping you with it?"

Grayson: "Yes but can you help me? I miss when you helped me."

Yn: "Of course!"

My mom and Ange left us to finish his homework and it brought a sense of happiness when I looked up and saw that smile on his face. Something caught my eye behind Grayson, causing me to look up. There he was. Just smiling from ear to ear. There was Alex. For some reason it didn't scare me. I was a little confused and thought I was tripping but he lingered for awhile before disappearing with a wave.

Grayson: "Mommy? Did you hear me?"

I looked at him, glancing behind him once more before turning my attention back to Grayson.

Yn: "Yes I heard you baby. What do you think about going to Great Wolf this weekend? You, Alayna, Uncle Tuck, and I?"

Grayson: "Yay!"

We finished his homework and mom returned to the kitchen to cook dinner.

Angela: "I'm going to head out but I'll be by later this week to check on you sis. I love you," she hugged me. "And I love you too honey," she hugged Grayson before leaving out.

Yn: "Thank you, mom," I said as I turned to her, watching her cut up steak for dinner.

Mrs. Blake: "Anything for my babies."

Grayson: "Can I call daddy?"

I looked at him and then back at my mom. She said nothing. Gray has been calling Alex daily, leaving him voicemails about his day. I'm never there for the calls but my mom is and it makes me so sad that he has to try and connect this way. Markel brought me Alex's phone days after the accident which it was only cracked because the case flew off before it hit the ground. I never checked the messages but I never planned on stopping the bill payments either.

Yn: "Yes. Bring me my phone from upstairs on the nightstand," I kissed his forehead before he ran off to get my phone from upstairs.

Mrs. Blake: "I feel so bad for him. You know when I took him over to Tucker's, I talked to Tucker about both Alayna and Grayson. He told me that at school, they only talk to each other. They distance themselves from their friends even when they don't spend time together. I'm worried about that."

Yn: "I'm sure it will pass. It's still so fresh for everyone, mom."

She nodded. Not saying anything else. Grayson returned with my phone and proceeded to call Alex's phone. I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I could do it. I could sit there and hear my baby trying to talk to his father. When I thought he was done, I exited the bathroom and went back into the kitchen.

Yn: "I'm taking Gray to Great Wolf Lodge this weekend. Get out of the house, you know?"

Mrs. Blake: "That would be nice."

We finished talking and eventually they ate dinner, leaving me a little more hopeful that I would get better.