Truthfully (Destiel Romance)

Chapter 1

My life had never been simple; it had always been filled with death and torment. The pain that courses through my veins every single day of my life. The death that I have witnessed, and the death that I have caused.

Sometimes, when I dream, I dream of all the people I have killed begging me for their lives. Of coarse, that was before I sliced off their heads. Sometimes I dream about all the innocent people possessed by demons; them looking up at me, begging me to save them, and yet I never could. The only way to kill the demon was to kill the host.

I wonder sometimes, if me and Sam had never been born, if any of this would have been possible. Sure, we save a lot of people, but the amount of people that we killed in the process would equal itself out over time.

Am I doing the right thing? This is a question I asked myself a lot, but I know no one can ever answer it. Not even God.

“Hey, man, I found a case, looks like our sorta thing,” Sam said, his hand stretched out in front of him, handing me a fresh newspaper. My mind was still some place else, and when I didn't take the paper from his hand, he threw it on my lap, shaking me back into the real world. “You OK.” He asked, having a seat on the old motel bed across from me.

I wondered for a brief moment what else had sat on that bed in the past year, the sheets were dirty even when they first arrived at the motel the night prior. The history of this motel room would probably keep me up at night if I knew it.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” That was my default response, but not even I believed it. I was the farthest thing from 'OK.' I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, each death resting souly on me. Every obituary, every grave; it was all my fault.

I knew that I was only one person, but sometimes I wished I could have an army, so I could help every last person.

I had learned to block out the guilt I felt, but lately it had been leaking through the cracks.

“You going to read it already?” Sam asked, a serious look rested on his face.

“I will.” My voice came out harsher than I meant it, and Sam seemed hurt. I automatically opened my mouth to apologize, but my heart just wasn’t in it.

My eyes wandered over the paper; it did seem like our kind of thing; two days ago, a couple was kissing, but soon that kiss turned into death. They suffocated on each others tongs.

“Seems odd?” Sam asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He already knew the answer, but he asked the question all the same. He was always looking for approval in me, maybe that was 'little brother syndrome.'

I shivered, “sure does; seems like the love bug bit these guys a tad too hard. We should go now, it's a days drive, and we wanna get there before this thing kills more people.” I pulled myself from the bed, picking my beat up jacket up from the door and putting it on over my sore body.

The last hunt we had been on hurt me pretty bad, but I was good at playing through the pain. “I'm getting too old for this.” I smirked.

“Tell me about it.” He threw me the keys and followed it up with a sideways grin.

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