My Hands Hold My Story (Rough Draft)

Chapter Twenty

A/N: I feel like I should warn you that the following is not a happy chapter. I cried when I wrote it. 

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Susan ran in, panic written on her face. I stepped in front of her before she could continue on to the bedroom. "Do you know what needs done?" I asked, watching her face.

She hesitated, her eyes shifting to the right as she thought. After a moment, she shook her head. "Anna sent me away," she said, nodding towards Katie, who was holding her hand. "Do you?"

I shook my head, and her cheeks paled. There was no getting around it. One of us needed to go for help. Did Nevada City have a doctor? I couldn't remember having met one, but that didn't mean one did not exist.

"Go to her," I said to Susan. If I'd lifted my hands to sign, she would have seen the tremble in them and she didn't need to guess at my own fear. "Do whatever she says. I'll be back."

Susan's jaw dropped. "Where—?"

"For help." Before I lost my nerve, I spun on my heel and strode out. I didn't even pause for a bonnet or hat. There didn't seem to be a moment to lose.

At a run, I crossed the distance from the house to the barn in a matter of seconds. Why was today the day when there was no sign of Remy? I skidded to a halt in the barn.

The horses that pulled the wagon were in town, of course, at the store. Remy's usual mount was gone, and naturally Simon's mare was no longer in the barn. That left only the massive black creature I'd seen Remy working with in the corral.

Somehow, I had to saddle him and then get myself on his back.

Breathing out, I went to the small tack room at the back of the barn. I had no reason to be nervous. Simon and Remy had taught me how to saddle a horse...just not one that appeared half wild.

With a saddle in my hands, I approached the stall door. The horse lifted his head and I made eye contact with him. When I put my hand on the latch, he shied to the back of the stall, which wasn't far at all.

Some instinct made me click my tongue. I couldn't hear it, but I had a vague memory of my mother doing so whenever she had dealt with a frightened animal. The horse didn't move, beyond twitching muscles, as I approached.

"I'm sorry." I knew I was speaking, even though it seemed silly. "I have to get Cordelia help, and I need you."

I felt clumsy as I heaved the heavy saddle up and onto the horse's back. How many times had I seen this creature lunge and buck when Simon had done so? For me, though, the horse remained still. While I knew all animals had a kind of intelligence, in that moment I knew that horse understood the situation and was choosing to cooperate with me.

Maybe he was like the majority of humans and felt sorry for me.

He was less understanding when I put the bit of the bridle in his mouth, but he didn't try to shake me off. My hands were still shaking as I lead him out of the barn. One last glance around showed that there was still no Remy in sight to do the task instead, so I pulled myself up in the saddle.

My skirts were not designed for riding astride but were full enough that not too much of my leg was visible. Of course, it didn't seem like the time to be concerned about modesty.

I dug my heels in and raced out of the ranch yard. It wasn't difficult to follow the road towards town. How much time had passed since I'd discovered Cordelia? I couldn't even begin to guess, but I hoped I would be able to get help in time.

Ground rushed beneath the black steed's hooves. All I seemed capable of doing is holding onto the reins. Eventually, I was able to sit up a little straighter and I recognized the lane that led off to another ranch.