Remember. (Sequel)

Leaving

"Leaving is a hard process. Especially when you have been in a toxic relationship for so long. Writing a letter when you're leaving with a hope in your heart that life will be easy, that you are better than this. That you can forgive and forget. But the truth is, you can't.

You can't forget how broken a man made you feel. You can't forget the first vomit, the first pain, the first dizzy feeling. You can't forget because you decide to move on and God doesn't want you to. Instead, he gives you a reminder of what you had with an abusive man.

All I ever wanted in my entire life was a baby. I tried, I fought, I got beaten up because the medical reports had stated that I couldn't have one.

Then how? Then why? Why now? Why when I wanted to move on?

I had been trying to convince myself, to tell him that I was carrying his child inside of me but then I got reminded of what he had done to me. So I stopped thinking.

I woke up with nightmares in London. I felt like giving up.

That day it finally occured to me that my perception of men was right, they're heartless and selfish, they don't care if you're burning in the sun or drenching in the rain, all they care about is themselves, I wished that day that I don't ever give birth to a male and maybe, just maybe..God is a man too..because that's what he exactly did.

He gave me a boy, Ironic isn't it? But I'm hypocritical too, I love my boy, I love that he's mine and he's precious but I hate the one that helped me make it or atleast I pretend to.

So you ask me why I hate relationships? It's because of him, because of what he did to me. Fucked me up. Brutally and yet I continue to love him."

-Why I hate men, written by 'Anonymous 009'

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I HATE THAT YOU ALL CONVINCE ME TO DO THINGS THAT I DONT WANT TO DO.