BLOODY DESIRES-(Yandere )

Tell me Sweet Little Lies

Mikasa had never been so emotional before ...it seemed almost out of character, it was.

"Your a liar"
A little voice in your head whispered.
"Don't tell the truth."

I tried to shake it off but the voice just became louder and louder.
It drove me insane but strangely enough this was the only time i heard this voice.
Mikasa had fallen asleep and it seemed like my dream had
re-embodied itself into my reality.
I could hear the howling wind once again on the other side of the walls. And the cold air creeping through the cracks in the panels and the floor.
The voices in my head echoed about even more loudly, hearing their voices lingering in my eardrums and bouncing back with twice the force as before , saying the words:
"Liar"
"Don't tell the truth"
"They will hurt us"
"Liar"

My whole body twitched as thoughts flooded my mind, it was a beautiful chaos of bitter sweet emotions, pain and joy both gave me the same feeling, hatred and fear , hot and cold, i was totally numb from the world , I could trick my mind Into thinking and feeling something that was not real, and the whole world faded into black...

**************

The sun peaked through the gaps in the curtains , my eyes shot open and I instinctively jumped up from my resting place , nobody else was awake . I walked to Hanjis room to see if she was still there ... but nobody was and Mikasa also seemed to be missing , nobody was in the house ...nobody home.
My stomach ached from the hunger , but I couldn't eat , just thinking about Eren and who he could have been made me lose my appetite.

I walked into the kitchen and noticed a fine trail of red blots dotting the wooden floor .
The trail lead outside into the cold , little red spots drew Into the pure white snow ,  I followed the trial of intricate red speckles deeper into the wood.
There was a point where the trial stopped and lead to nowhere .
I stood there in silence for a moment looking for anything ... until I heard the sound of rope straining under pressure...I looked up to where the sound was coming from.

My heart sank and my jaw dropped ...my stomach churned with disgust to what my eyes ley upon, for there dangling above my head was the mutilated bodies of hanji and Mikasa ... I fell to my knees , I felt like puking but nothing came up ,I could just gag , their faces had been so badly cut up that they didn't look human anymore , hanjis abdomen had been sliced open and her inners were now her outers.
Mikasa was missing her legs and a few fingers, her body had been disgraced and her head had been relived of all its raven locks.

I looked down in horror to see that I was drenched in blood ... my hands were painted in dried blood , and my clothes were soiled by multiple  red stains.

I ran , I ran from the horror , my heart beating in my head, I tripped and fell into  the shaved ice(snow)  it burnt my warm blooded flesh ,
The door was open , unlike my mind to the past ...

the tap water was warm as I washed away the shame , that I wasn't sure I had done.

"Murder"
"Liar"
"Murderer"
the voices were back

I reached for a bottle of whisky that was in one of the cupboards and took a swig of the alchaholic drink , the bitterly strong liquid burned my throat as I started to chug it's contents.
It all felt unreal , as if it had all been a bad dream ... but no matter how much I drank , the blood stains didn't dissappear,  and the disgust I felt didn't fade , I was torn between reality and a dream...what was real and not...Because I could no longer tell the difference.
I was unsure of what I did...

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Fuuuuuck it's been a looong time...I was reading my old chapters and god were they cringe ... gah well here's another chapter to ease the mind ... of all my fucken troubles!
It's been about half a year since I wrote those chapters ...so yeah...life has me fucked,  cuz I live in an absolute downward spiral to death ...