August 31st, 2013.
I let out a loud sigh as I walk into my dark room, flipping on light switch for my fairy lights and plopping down on my bed, exhausted from a long day of running around Perth working on things. I open up my Macbook, sitting criss-crossed in my slightly less dark room, looking at the time. You and I had planned to skype today around right now. I quickly log into my private skype account to see if you were online yet, you weren’t, frowning I quickly shot you a quick message about calling me when you got online. You know me, I made my way to Twitter and Tumblr to pass time, as I open up Twitter, I am flooded with confusion by the hecticness of everything, I begin to read a few more tweets, confusing me even more. They’re mostly along the lines of “I can’t believe this” or “I’m sobbing, I can’t do this” or “I can’t believe he’s gone.” Finally I reach, not completely non-sense tweet from a mutual of you and I’s. As I read it I feel myself go numb, and my heart stops but also pounds against my rib cage. “RIP Tyler, I’ve done nothing but cry all day, but it’s was amazing knowing you for the short time you were alive. I love you forever and always.” No. The word repeats in my head and I’m shaking, this wasn’t happening, no, this was just one of those stupid things that people make up to scare people. Yeah, I was sure that you were going to tweet soon about how weird this was and probably make a joke in it and everything was going to be fine. But you never did. Nothing ever came. I quickly pick up my phone and pull up your contact calling you but it just kept ringing until I reached your voice mail, I repeat this 3 or 4 times until I’m in tears and decide to try text you. “Why are people saying your dead?” I send the text but keep sending more. “You’re not dead.” I sit back for a bit, still shaking before tears consume and I type another text, shaking now not from being scared but from the sobs that were erupting from my body. “Please don’t be dead.” “Tyler.” Soon someone bursts into my room, more and more people come in, I know they’re my family, they’re all talking, I think Sage and my mom were crying, I’m not sure, everything felt like it was in slow motion, everything was black around the edges, and I saw multiple arms wrapped around me but I didn’t feel them. I shake and sob for the rest of the night, I suppose my family had heard, they keep saying things about how everything was going to be okay, how you loved me, how we would always be best friends, and that you were watching over me now. Honestly, how could I believe any of that bullshit, Ty? How could I believe that you weren’t on this Earth watching me anymore, but up or down or where ever the hell you were watching over me, where I couldn’t see you. How was I supposed to be best friends with a fucking dead body buried in the grown or burnt into a crisp? HOW WAS EVERYTHING GOING TO BE OKAY WHEN MY BEST FRIEND AND LOVE OF MY LIFE WAS DEAD, TYLER!?
