FINGERTIPS ║ Larry Stylinson

14 ║ Strength And Silk

July 25th

Louis needed to breathe. He needed some fresh air and silence to clear his mind. He needed to make place, get rid of doubts and all his unanswered questions he couldn't stop asking himself, over and over again. The constant laughters or yelling in the house made it almost impossible to focus. It was a good thing, for a while only. He could get away from his own thoughts, he could stop thinking and just focus on the deafening sounds all around him. But now it just made it harder. Don't take him wrong, he loved his family. More than anyone could ever love their own family. He would give every single thing for them, to be sure they would be happy their whole life. He would do anything for them. But in a house where 7 kids including him were living, he couldn't focus on anything. He needed to take care of the house when the adults were away. He needed to take care of the youngest. He liked the role of the biggest brother, it was exhausting but he was glad to help them. But if he needed to focus on himself, on trying to found out what was the best for him and how he had to act, then it was harder. Almost impossible, really, even with music plugged in his ears, at some point his tranquillity would be broken. So he left the house, like every time he needed to be on his own. Only him facing his brain. It was scary sometimes. Facing his brain meant facing his darkest thoughts. It could be terrifying. But he had to. How would he be able to figure out what was good if he couldn't clean up his mind a bit.

Louis was now walking around in town, even though he knew too well he would end up at the same place as always: the park. He took his time, enjoying the silence and even looking at the bright blue sky where he could see birds flying around. He envied them. He wished he was as free as they were. He heard once in American Horror Story, that birds could "fly away when things get too crazy". And it was true, he wished he could do that. Each time something was making life harder, so hard that he couldn't just face it and keep going, he would just fly away for a bit. Away from his mind. Away from his body. Away from himself. But he was a human being with responsibilities, a family and friends. And he could never bring himself to fly away from that. He was faithful, trustful and everyone knew it around him.
This summer was warm and bright, children were enjoying a swim, sportive were enjoying a run. Sun always seemed to cheer people up, once they were far from grey clouds and rain, they seemed so much more joyful. Not Louis. He sighed before entering the park, there were some people running here and there, children on the playground watched by their parents, old people sitting on the bench chatting and laughing happily. It was beautiful to see. Truly heart warming. He just walked alone among them. Barely anyone knew who he really was, to them, he was "one kid from the big family" or something like that. Young people never really tried to know more about him. Strangely, old people were the nicest to him. He used to read them books at the retirement home when he arrived in town. He had turned 15 and he already liked reading and making people happy. So once the director had agreed, he started coming here once a day, after school and read a bit to them. He loved it. A lot. He had become the "cute kid". He had discovered Gone With the Wind or Wuthering Heights thanks to an old lady called Anita who had asked him to read it to her. It was her favourites books, she had read them several time but listening to Louis read them to her allowed her to rest and enjoy the adventures.
Louis kept walking for a while before he noticed someone laying down in the grass. It wasn't uncommon, some people were used to lay or sit on it all the time but he recognised the brown curls laying around his face. He walked slowly, at first he was a bit worried, he was all alone laying under a tree and some ray of sunshine was sneaking through the branches to caress his face. He looked so inert. But he quickly noticed the smile other his lips and his chest going up and down slowly. He squatted next to him.

"Harry?"

Harry jumped with surprised, cursing loudly as he covered his chest with his hands. Louis noticed several rings on his fingers and raised an eyebrow, there were not there before.