Diary of Constellations [just my thoughts]

Every time, as I walk home from school (which was always after dark, if I might add), since I started high school (I'm already a junior), I often look at the sky and stare up like an idiot.

Since grade school, I was often fascinated about constellations. Maybe it was the way people discovered them, using their broad imaginations as they find pictures in the sky, not by the clouds, but by the stars. Or maybe because of the great distances between those stars... that even though they're thousands and millions of light-years apart, they still belong to each other, forming a shape that distinguished them. Different, but still the same. Fragmented, but universal.

I'm a libra, but I don't appreciate its constellation that much, maybe because I can't imagine that it is supposed to be a scale, and that they don't stood out..

But what I liked most, even though it's a bit not original, is Orion. I can always distinguish it from others because of the three consecutive stars at the middle forming the hunter's infamous belt.

Now, it became a habit of mine to always look up, every night, to gaze at Orion. Sometimes I don't think about anything, just stare, but other times I caught myself mulling over things. Things about my day to day life, things I don't dare to speak out loud. But always, I often felt calmness spread over me at the little time I spend with the Hunter.

I know it sounds stupid, this habit of mine. But maybe, it's just a form of, I don't know, meditation, reflection, whatever, after a tiring day. And somehow, I always get to know myself better... though maybe I really am just crazy.

Us, teenagers, are very complicated. All this pent-up emotions, hormones, confusion, infatuation... if we don't have any form to let it all out, we might explode. So, release. In any way you're comfortable with.

We always hid secrets, because we're insecure, conscious, but all of us were really going through the same things. Maybe in different degrees and severities, but it's always nice to know that you're not alone, even if it sounds selfish. It's nice to know that you're not the only one. We're not perfect, after all. We have each of our own detriments.

I always liked to write a diary or a journal, so I can have someone to tell my secrets to, but I just don't feel like writing about it (which I'm doing just now... I'm confusing, right?), I tried, once, but I always forgot to write everyday because I'm always busy and tired, and I couldn't remember much about my day, anyway. Besides, my life is too uneventful, and ordinary. And I'm a girl who doesn't want to have anything to do with ordinary.

Anyway, back to constellations. It's my way of letting it all out. And it's working, really. You just have to find your thing.

If there's someone or something that knows me best, it's Orion.

The Mighty Orion the Hunter.

So maybe, if you want to know something about me, you should ask him. Maybe he will reply, who knows?

I really am crazy, right?

I hoped you get what I'm trying to say. And I hoped I helped even if it is tiny and almost insignificant. Minuscule. (Minuscule, I just learned that it was spelled that way today, from our English teacher. i always thought it was spelled like this: M-I-N-I-S-C-U-L-E. oh...how wrong i am.=))<3)

Well, it's getting really really late as I'm writing this, or better yet, typing this, and I needed some quality time with my favorite hunter.

-Jonalyn