authors thoughts and agendas to share (warning depression involved)

i'm sorry

hi most of you know me as author I just wanted to talk I'm sorry I'm not strong I'm weak as fuck. I try, I really do but I have a shitty life and I know I'm dumb to say that because there are a lot of people with problems worse than mine but I want you to know my story or at least a little. I live in a very restricting environment since I was young. now since I'm around my adolescent years you might think I would be allowed to go places but no sorry I'm bitching. yeah I suck I've tried dying I cut a lot, I stopped eating, i once burned myself because I feel as if I'm an animal in a zoo there is a disease known for animals in zoo's called "self-mutilation" well that's how I am. I've dealt with a close family member of mine dealing with depression it was as bad as mine if not maybe worse he was on anti-depressants as far as i know he's doing better now but I can't talk to him about my depression because he would tell my mother and she honestly threatens to send me to a doctor if she ever saw another cut on me again so i don't really talk about it to them. Instead i talk about it to a very special person she's my best-friend. She's helped me a lot she convinced me to not attempt suicide. i also, have daddy issues it's not that they're divorced though i wish they were as bad as it sounds. i live in a house where the hatred just circulates around us so mostly i just stay in my room but they argue like I'm upstairs and listening to music and i hear their arguments my father is also a huge part of my depression he also shit talks the other people i live with. In all honesty my mother isn't as bad as my father. I'm sorry i really am depressed. I know that i sound like I'm over reacting and I probably am but hey every one deals with some sort of depression right as stupid as it may sound. well i think that's all for now

regaurding my stories i'll try to pick up the slack alright

thank you for your time mina-san

        ~sincerely author-chan