Maybe in time... fanfic 2moons series Ming/Kit

Chapter 8

Here's part 8... wow part 8 already
Thank you all for following the story this far 😆

We have Kits and Ming's POV's again.

----8---

Kit POV

The banging on my door is so loud it vibrates in my head I'm sure. It's dark in my room but it's not nighttime. I haven't opened the curtains, in fact I haven't opened them in days. I've barely left my room.
After Ming left I had actually cried. I've never cried for anyone but I cried because of him. He'd finally given up on me. Shouldn't I of been happy? Because I felt the complete opposite. Which must mean...I didn't want him to give up on me. I didn't want him to stay away. Which must mean...
I do have feelings for him.

I've been through everything these last few days in my head... all the confusion about my feelings. Feeling nervous around him yet enjoying his company. Not backing away from him kissing or almost kissing me. Maybe I secretly wanted him to and I just didn't want to admit it. Why couldn't I see that all along he was slowly winning my heart. Why did it have to come to him walking away from me for me to understand.

But still even now there's no way would I say I'm gay. Nor can I see me ever being in a relationship with another male. I wonder how Ming could him see being in a relationship with me. I guess that was his aim anyway. Is it really not a big deal nowadays to fall for someone of the same sex? Pha says love is love. Beam has told me to forget Ming is a guy. I just still wouldn't be comfortable I don't think in public. How can I have feelings for Ming if I can't see me be comfortable being with him in that way. Maybe in time I could learn to be. But because he's now given up on me what's the point in thinking about it all.

So after Ming left I locked myself away. I've skipped a day of classes. I've ignored my friends messages and calls over the weekend. Beams been at the door a couple of times but I never answered. I've barely eaten or drank much. Quite honestly I can easily say I'm making myself ill like this. I need to face the world again soon. But it's hard. I sigh.
Ming... he's gotten under my skin. He's again all that's been in my mind these last few days. But this time just his image in my mind sets of those funny feelings in my chest. Now I've admitted I having feelings for him I get this every time he pops into my head. He's abandoning his feelings and mine are growing and I can't bare to face it and him.

The door bangs again I swear louder again. It's hurts my head I really need some pain killers.
'Kit open up or I swear we'll kick the door down'... It was Beam shouting though who the we he is referring to I could only presume is himself and Pha. I couldn't see them actually breaking my door down. I'm sat on my bed in my covers and I'm not planning on moving.
'Go ahead'. I shout though I really don't have much energy. It's silent for a moment. Then there's a much loader bang on the door. Shit! They're actually going to break it down? I get up feeling slightly dizzy it's the quickest I've moved in days and open the door.
Stood the are Pha, Beam and Forth. Forth looked like he was about to come at my door again so I presumed he was the one attempting to get in for the other two. Though why they are going to such an extreme is beyond me.

They were in my room before I come react.
Beam walked in took a look around my room was a bit messy nothing bad. Next he looked at me and rolled his eyes. I thought that was my thing.
'Kit! What the hells going on with you? You've ignored all our messages you missed a day of classes it sure as hell looks like your not planning on coming today either. We're all really worried'.
Pha opens my curtains at this point and my eyes react badly to the light I have to look away and rub them.
'Please shut them'. I moan.
'No Kit! What's going on?'. Pha asks.
'Nothing' I say unconvincingly.
'You've been hiding in here all weekend right?' Says Beam now. 'Kit you never do anything like this. So tell us...' he pauses and I avoid all their stares. 'Is this something to do with Ming?'
'Why the hell would it?' I snap. Before I can stop myself. Well done Kit! Surely that just made it more obvious to them that it is.
Assuming Beam hasn't told them, my other friends still don't know about the kiss and my confused feelings for Ming. I'm not ready to explain it all again to more people along with the new developments with my feelings for him. Which I've only just realised myself.  I still barely understand or know what to do about it.