What The Body Wants

Another Chapter Ended

Chapter 59

We finished the details of naming the baby and getting all the funeral arrangements completed.  We named the baby Krystal Mackenzie Rainey.  Everyone had arrived a day ago and we had Krystal’s funeral at the funeral home because it was just going to be family and friends there.

I was a wreck before the services started I couldn’t go up and see my beautiful baby girl laying there in her white christening gown.  She was beautiful; she had smooth caramel skin, her hair was super thick and she had the chunkiest little cheeks.  I leaned over the casket and kissed my baby girl.  Vincent came to my side and wrapped his arms around me and I put my head on his chest and I couldn’t hold the tears in any longer.

“Vincent look how beautiful she is.”

“Yes baby she is beautiful like her mother.  I am so sorry you have to go through this, but you are a strong woman Nikki you will get past it, it may take a while, but you will be ok.”

“I know Vincent; it’s just so hard to see this little person that I was carrying in my womb only lived to see this world for less than 24 hours and I only had a short time with her.”

“I can’t say that I know what you’re feeling because I don’t have any children and I certainly wouldn’t know what to do if I had lost one.  I just want to be here for you to help you through it all don’t be afraid to lean on me I’m here.”

Ebony and Alex came over and looked at their niece and Ebony started to cry.  I hugged her and she kept saying she was sorry.  I didn’t know why she would say she’s sorry it wasn’t her fault.

“Nikki…I’m so sorry about the baby; she is so beautiful.”

“Thank you she is adorable, but why are you sorry; it’s not your fault you didn’t do anything to cause any of this.”

“I know that’s not why I’m sorry.”

“Then what is it Ebony?”

“I’m pregnant now and I can’t help but feel selfish for being pregnant when you just lost your baby.”

“Eb don’t you dare be sorry, you’re being silly you can’t blame yourself.  You didn’t get pregnant to rub it in my face you got pregnant so that you and Royce can start a family.”

“I know, I just feel bad that you lost your sweet little girl.”

“It’s ok, I want you to enjoy being pregnant, it is the most beautiful thing to feel a life growing inside of you.  I want you to be happy; I know your pregnancy will be much different than mine.”

I felt the tears well up again and I couldn’t hold them in any longer.  Alex looked over at me I started feeling lightheaded and started dropping to the floor but I was caught by solid arms then everything went black.  When I opened my eyes I was laying on a chase lounge chair in a quiet room.  I looked up to see Vincent sitting beside me with worry in his eyes.

“Nikki sweetheart I am so worried about you, are you alright?”

“Yes I guess I was just overwhelmed when Ebony told me she was pregnant.  I guess standing there looking at my little Krystal Mackenzie knowing I would never hold her in my arms again the grief was just too much to deal with.”

“Are you ok right now?”

“Yes.”

“Ok sweetie, they want to start the services, but only if you are ready.”

“Did Kevin and his family get here?”

“His family is here, but no sign of Kevin.”

“Once again he has failed to show up as a man…first me, now his daughter.  I swear I can’t deal with him we have to bury our daughter and he decides again to just not show up.  Even though the situation is sad I am so glad that after this day I don’t have to deal with this man again.”

“Well just know when this is over and we have laid Krystal Mackenzie to rest there will be nothing more to tie you to him.  You will always hold your baby close to your heart, but as far as him, well I hope that you will close that chapter of your life so we can begin a new one together.”

“Dr. Taricone, I can’t believe I almost passed on the opportunity to get to know you.”

“Well you were well worth the wait my dear.”

“Just give me a kiss and let’s go back in for the service.”

Vincent gave me the softest sweetest kiss before he grabbed my hand and lead me out of the room.  I sat down and Vincent sat beside me and grabbed my hand and held it through the service.  After the service was over we went to the cemetery to finish laying her to rest.  Once I sat there watching them lower her casket in the ground, I totally broke down.  I was hysterical, my mom and dad, Ebony and Alex came rushing to me and they formed a circle around me trying to calm me down.  It took a little while, but finally I tried pulling myself back together.  Once I stopped crying my father and Alex helped me to Vincent’s car and we went back to my house.

Once we got there Vincent went with me to change my clothes only because he was concerned for me.  Once I got upstairs to my bedroom, I found me a pair of jean shorts and a tank top and went into the bathroom and changed.  When I came out, Vincent was on the chase beside my bed and he called me over to sit on his lap.

“I want to ask you a question, don’t get scared I’m not about to propose to right now…but I would like to ask you to come to New York.  I am going to visit my parents and I would love to introduce you to them.  We are going to get married and I would love for you to get to know my parents. 

“I talked to your father, your brother and your brother-in-law and I asked them if they would have an issue with you marrying me.  Mostly I talked to your dad and we had a real serious talk.  I explained why I wanted to marry you and that I promise to make you happy and I wouldn’t do anything in my power to ever hurt you.”

“I think you need to get away from here for a little while, and let yourself start to heal.”

“Don’t worry I explained everything to my parents about the engagement all the way to you losing the baby.  My mother was on the phone crying and I asked her why she was crying, she said that if I was truly going to marry you, she doesn’t want me to treat you the way Kevin did and you lose her grandchild.  I couldn’t help but laugh at my mother she is so sensitive.”

“Vincent you aren’t being serious are you? You want me to meet your family?”

“Of course baby I want you to meet my family, there is nothing I would love more.  Taking you home to meet my family is the only thing I have dreamed about for a while now.  I would be honored.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer to him and his lips covered my lips.  I couldn’t think of anything else but this man whose lips were gliding softly on mine.  He licked my bottom lip asking for entrance and I couldn’t deny him that.  Our kiss was slow, passionate, mind blowing and kind of raw.  He pulled back from me and I wanted more of him.  I didn’t think I could have any feelings for him other than sexual attraction.  I can feel myself falling and I hope that I don’t have to go through the same thing with Vincent that I went through with Kevin.

“Come on we better get back downstairs before your family comes looking for us.  I don’t want your father to kick my ass for being in his daughter’s room kissing her and thinking about all the things I want to do to her.”

“Well eventually you will get to do those things to me, but only if you’re a good boy.”

“Yeah that’s what your mouth is saying, but your body is telling me something different.  I can feel your excitement and you can’t wait to give me all of you and I can’t wait to have it.”

“Come on here boy, you being fresh and I don’t want to have to put all this good-good on you.”

“Well come here and I will show you what I can do with your good-good.  You pressing your luck with me sweetheart…don’t push it you will be sorry.”

“Yeah ok, now let’s go.”

“Yeah little lady before you get in trouble.”

With that we headed downstairs and everyone stopped and looked at us and I couldn’t help but turn my head into Vincent and then they all laughed at me.  I was definite happy at this moment and although my little Krystal Mackenzie wasn’t here with me she will always be with me.