My Gangsta Love (Completed, Sequel Out)

Chapter 6: Confessions

I didn't think Antonio was going to stay, but when I get out he follows me in the house and up to my room. I change into a pink tank top and purple fuzzy shorts. I go brush my teeth, wash my face and tie up my hair.

When I walk out Antonio has is shirt, jacket, shoes and pants off. All that's left is some long black basketball shorts. He laying on top of covers. I glance over at Lovey, seeing Marquise put her on her bed. She's fast asleep.

"So were you hot...or just trying to be comfortable?"I say laying next to him.

"Lil bit of both...lemme ask you something..."He says. I prop myself up on my elbow.

"Okay, shoot."I say.

"Why does your dad scare you so much? You're not afraid of beating up a gang member but when it comes to your dad all that courage is gone."He says. I sigh, trying to figure how to place the words. After a while I start.

"It's like this....your dad is your protector, your provider, the person you go to when you don't know what to do. As a little girl I never had that with him. He was the person that caused my nightmares, the person who I ran from. But I didn't know who to run to. He....he beat my mom, and raped her....he beat Marquise, and me...I never knew what to do. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. Marquise could only protect me so much, he took so many beatings for me. I don't know what I would do without him. My dad is so evil, so manipulative....gangs are nothing compared to him. He is a real villain, a real G if I must. He gets his money and his way no matter what. Sure we had a lot stuff growing up but he was so evil....the summer I turned thirteen, all I asked was for me and Marquise to go to camp. Mostly so we could escape him.....I wasn't thinking about Mami at the time...but the day we were leaving....Marquise and Mami went to the store for something and Baba and I were waiting in the foyer...He started to talk to me, about stuff that wasn't making sense. Then he grabbed me and told me if I told anybody what he was about to do, he'd kill me. I was so scared, at that moment I knew what was about to go down...luckily Mami and Marquise got home. I was saved. Even if it wasn't on purpose. We went to camp and when we came back it seemed as if Baba had forgotten about it. I sure wasn't gonna bring it up. But half way thru September....I was up late. I fell asleep on the couch watching tv. I woke up was hungry, so I was warming up some lasagna. He comes down, at first I thought it was Marquise trying to scare me. But it was him. He was coming to get another beer. But I know him, he doesn't stop at one or two, no. It's more like nine or ten. But the look in his eyes was all wrong, I could feel the tension. I was just trying to get out of there. So I eat real quick, he keeps telling me about how pretty I am. And he's playing with my hair. But I knew better. I wasn't about to let this happen. I was rinsing off my dishes....when he comes up behind me. I jump, cause I'm so scared. He says, 'Don't worry, let Baba take care of you.' I push him off. Which only makes him angry, he grabs me, pulling me back, ripping my nightgown. I scream for Marquise and Mami. Pisses him off even more. He slaps me so hard I literally fall, trying to crawl away. But he drags me back. Marquise finally comes down, he gets Baba off me, but Baba punches him dead in the jaw. Mami tries calling the police but Baba threatens to kill us all. He beats Mami that night. The next day we were out of there. Mami was done. And that's why I'm so scared of my Baba. You know no evil until you see it like that. The one person you trust the most is the one giving you the most pain..."I say, by the time I'm done tears are streaming down my face. I turn away from Antonio.

"Hey, look at me....C'mon look at me."He says. I turn facing him.

"I will never hurt. I'm so sorry he did you like that and I will do my best to not let that happen again. I will give my life before I let him do that again. I'll be your protector, provider, the one you call, I'll be your everything."He says, wiping the tears from my face. I hug him, hug him tight like I need him to survive. Which I think I do.

"Where have you been all my life?"I say playing with his braids.

"Right here, looking for you."He says. After that was just talk, about less heavy stuff. From anything to food to dreams. He wants to be something in the medical field, and he actually is really smart. He just doesn't do that good, because he doesn't show up. He can do better....I end up falling asleep on his chest.

Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz. That's what I wake up to. It's a a notification on my phone. I check the time. It's 1:12 am. And Antonio is still here, asleep.

"Antonio....Antonio. Wake up. C'mon you gotta wake up."I whisper-yell.

"Hmmm?"He groans.

"It's one in the morning. I don't think Marquise would be happy you slept the night...."I say. He opens his eyes.

"True...no he would not. Alright..."He says getting up. I get up to, after all I have to see him out and lock the door. He puts on his clothes and grabs his bag. We walk down the stairs quietly.

"I'll see you at school, tomorrow?"I say hopefully. He smiles, caressing my cheek.

"For you, of course."He says. Then he bends down and kisses me on the lips briefly. Then he leaves. I lock the door and arm the alarm. I walk upstairs feeling saddish. I'm laying down, almost asleep, when my phone starts ringing. It's Antonio, he must have put his number in my phone when I was changing.

"Hello?"I say, happily but sleepily.

"I just wanted to hear you voice one more time before I went to sleep."He says. I smile in the darkness.

"Awww. That's so sweet."I say.

"Like you...I don't wanna keep you up...so goodnight."He says.

"Well now I don't wanna hang up up."I say.

"Me either. So let's not."He says. I get what he's saying.

"Okay...goodnight." I say smiling.

"Sweet dreams."He says. And I do have sweet dreams...of Antonio.