Missing you

Rendezvous

Once I close the door of my house and lock it I then took of my shoes and head towards the living room of my condo, I then started unbuttoning my shirt and when once I successfully unbutton the first three buttons I then laid my head on the couch headrest and close my eyes. Today is really tiring and my stomach is also about to burst from the food I ate, but despite that I couldn't shake away the loneliness that I was feeling especially earlier in the gala event.

With a loud sigh I pulled my phone out of my pocket and unlocked my phone and open the messenger, I tapped on the first message conversation and I let both my hands hold on my phone as I started typing. When I was done typing and my finger is hovering on the send button I stop and read my message. I bit my lips contemplating on whether I should send it or not but accidentally I pressed the sent button

SHIT!!!

I cursed loudly and hit my forehead with my phone. Shit I'm sure he probably receive that message already argh why did I even type those stupid words? Why did I succumbed to this loneliness and my yearning towards him? I shouldn't have touch my phone in the first place, I shouldn't have open our conversation, but most of all I shouldn't have mind how close and sweet the four guys I was with earlier. I shouldn't have let this jealousy reign over me and force me to send those cursed words to that heartless yet handsome guy.

My phone then ring notifying me that I received a message and I feel my heart beat faster and my hands sweat but despite the nervousness I also feel the excitement of him replying to my silly and stupid message. I then open the message and I couldn't help but sigh in disappointment, why did I even bother? And what did I really expect him to reply when clearly I am on the far end and bottom of his priority list. I put my phone down and heave a deep sigh as I head towards my bedroom and to my bathroom.

When the tub is almost full and the bubbles covered the surface I turn off the water tap and took my pants off together with my underwear and my shirt. I then slid inside the bathtub and as my exhausted body got surrounded by the warm and relaxing water I instantly relax and lay my head on the rim of the tub. I closed my eyes and soak on the tub filled with water and bubbles, the soft tunes that is playing in my bedroom could be heard in here and I tried to focus on the tune to let my exhausted mind relax also.

I miss you P'

"I'm busy, talk later"

I couldn't help but chuckle humorlessly as I remember my message to him and his curt and cold response. I know I shouldn't have fallen for his endless pit of attractiveness and personality but I still did, I know I shouldn't have settled on being the second option but I did, I know I shouldn't expect more from him but I still do, I know I shouldn't hope that in the future he'll choose me but I still do, I know I shouldn't hope that there will be more in our relationship than physical bond but I still do, I know I shouldn't have taken those "I love you's" he'd murmur repeatedly in my ears when he would reach his euphoria seriously but I still do. I know but I still gamble my heart in this dangerous and painful game just to be with him.

When the water started getting unbearably cold I stand up and pulled the plug and open the shower tap and wash away the suds of the soap, after a few minutes I then turn off the tap and wipe my body dry and then wrap a towel around my lower body. I grab another towel to dry off my hair as I then head out of the bathroom towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water, as I hydrated my throat I then look at the couch and saw my phone I looked at it and shocked to see a few unread messages and a couple of missed calls and that I stayed in the tub for an hour and it's now past midnight.

I opened the messages and see that P'godt send a few messages and same goes with P'Copter, P'Tee, P'Tae and P'Kim asking me if I have safely gone home. I couldn't help but smile as how they baby me too much it's like I instantly got a set of older brothers to care and protect me, I replied to their messages first telling them all I am safely at home and about to sleep. I then stare at the unread messages that P'godt sent me contemplating if I should read it now or wait until tomorrow to read it and reply to him not wanting to get hurt anymore. While I was contemplating my phone then started ringing and P'godt name and number flashing on my phone screen, I let it ring for a few times and took a deep breath as I swipe the answer button.