The Struggle. (One-Shot)

Tonight was a huge mistake. I can’t even remember when and why and how I ended up sitting in my favorite seat (in his car’s passenger seat) during the wee hours of the morning, listening to the wails of nothingness. Ugh, Kathryn.. You're such a stupid stupid stupid girl.

If there’s one thing I would like to pass on to the next generation, it would be never EVER drunk-call someone especially when your hormones are on a sky-high insanity trip. The results will ring you shame, anger and heartache plus your throbbing head will kill the remnants of your body functions.

I know what you’re thinking. So, to lower that raised eyebrow, no. I am not normally like this. I do not drink. Okay, fine. I drink occasionally. I do not even sleep late. It’s like my brain shuts down after ten in the evening. Actually, I am too good to handle. To maintain grades is a strict tradition. Sundays are allotted for church work. I don’t curse. I can’t even handle confrontations. I cry over sappy shows and movies, of hurt puppies and simple sentiments. May it be clear that this girl right now is so not me.

You see, I have always been reserved an in control of myself. But the thing is, I become overanxious and a mess when it comes to my so-called best friend, Daniel.

To cut is short, Daniel is the opposite of me. He’s smart and articulate but he has to be forced just to attend his classes. He is late most of the time. He hates sleep, always saying that he’ll sleep when he’s dead. He’s outgoing and friendly and he says what he thinks. Daniel is a typical boy but then, his loyalty is one of a kind.

Though we are different at most, there are a lot of things we have in common. We both love books. We are childlike and childish. We love the same music and movies. We have the same favorite ice cream flavor. Most of all, we abuse our brains by over thinking. Daniel and I dissect every piece of information, every piece of a story, every possible problem and solution. In the end, we’d just be too tired, pick the wrong decision or leave it all up to fate.

A touch in my hand brought me back to reality for a while I opened my mouth but no words came out. He sighed, and then looked away.

To kill the silence, I decided to turn on the car stereo. Shoot. After all songs to play, the radio played “Friend of Mine”. Wow. How appropriate.

I’ve known you for so long you are a friend of mine… and my mind starts to remember back when we were younger.

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Having a guy best friend has its ups and downs. There’s this constant “Is Daniel your boyfriend already?” from parents, siblings, classmates, friends, insert-name-here. Blah, blah, blah. Then, there’s this jealousy from The Boyfriend or even the lack thereof because of the constant presence of the BFF. In our case, Daniel thinks I’m a walking schoolwork-maker. I “helped” Daniel do almost every school-oriented paperwork and project because “You love me and I’m the best friend in the world.” His exact words.

Anyway, the downside is forgotten because of the perks. A guy best friend is a forever available dad/ kuya/ bodyguard/ chaperone/ driver/ date. He is someone with whom a girl can be boyish with, be silly or messy or rough with. He is someone who could be a shoulder to cry on - a sounding board. A guy best friend is someone who you can be at your weirdest or your worst and yet not judge at all. Living next door with Daniel is another amazing perk. I had access to his home’s unlimited supply of desserts. I have found another family in his. Every time I visit I have an instant ego boost with his family’s abundant praises. I can lze around all day watching their rapidly increasing DVD collection.