Sunflower

Prologue

"Will you marry me?"

The words keep on resonating in my head. He didn't even use a loud voice, it was soft and gentle, almost like a whisper. I stand there with my head down thinking  'I have to make a decision now. I could feel all the attention that are given to me. Not only from him, but from the others.

Teardrops keep on falling. I hope he realize that this put me in an uncomfortable situation. I hate when people stares ; they always expect me to do the right thing.

A comforting arm wraps around my body. There and then, I broke down. All of the memories comes crashing in, like an unexpected series of waves.

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Growing up, I was always compared. Our family was traditional ; there was always an unsaid competition between each other, whether it was about intelligence, appearance or worthiness, each one of us would like to be the best.

You see, my family wasn't like other family. My parents were divorced since I was five. I couldn't understand it at first but, reality sets in when I realize that we always move from one place to another - without my mom. My dad wasn't rich. I don't say it but I think we're broke. We never have our own house - where we could live in and be a happy family again. Instead my dad always ask help from his family to take care of me and my sister as he would work from day to night, sometimes night to morning. I don't mind, I try to be understanding ever since the divorce.

I think I matured young. In school, people always talk about things that I have never experienced. They even brought GAMEBOY to school to show it off to others. Me, I never care about those things. I remember a boy in my class who always jump from one table to another. He always have a smile on his face. It irritates me. He dirtied my desk so I started hating him. One day, when he jumped on the desk and were nearing mine, I pull my desk aside.

At that moment, I felt bad. Maybe I went too far. Or so I thought........

The next day, I stayed after school to apologize to him sincerely. I was ashamed. I left my bag in the classroom. What people doesn't know is that I always kept a picture of my 'happy' family in my bag. I looked for the guy everywhere but I couldn't find him. With heavy steps, I went back to the class to get my bag and head home. Instead, it was nowhere to be found. I went outside, determined to find my bag but when I actually find it, It was stained with the filth from the drain. I still kept the tears in, but when I found out that the picture was gone, I became frantic.

There were several lights footsteps coming from my back. When I turn around, there he was with his friends, holding the crumpled photo. I ran and punched him.

That day is the first step of my downfall. I still hope that I could see the light of hope to shine into my dark world. Who would save me from my own toxic self.

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