Sometimes I think that life’s too hard
that I won’t be able to get through
I’m so filled with pain and misery
that I don’t know what to do
I used to keep my hurt inside
I wouldn’t show any pain
I would tell myself that I’m not hurting
and put a fake smile on my face
But this burden of sadness
was heavy on my heart
I could no longer keep it all inside
so I would cry at night in the dark
Crying helped me feel just a little bit better
so I could get through the next day
Everyone thinks I’m always happy
but I’m hurting in every way
Crying it out only helped for so long
now it was too much to take
I didn’t do anything horrible
it’s not like my life is at stake
All I did was get a knife
and decorate my wrists
Carved in stars and cool patterns
decorative swirls and twists
I wore long sleeves so no one could see
what I was doing to myself
Letting my inside pain and hurt
disappear through the blood that poured out
It kept my heart from aching so much
and now my smile wasn’t fake
I still cried myself to sleep each night
because I had more pain than I could take
When I was having a really bad day
I cut a circle around my wrist
I carved around it little designs
so it would look like a charm bracelet
I let it bleed for a minute
the blood draining down the sink
I stood there and watched in amazement
and my skin turned from white to pink
I washed off the blood and bandaged it
my heart already feeling lighter
I was washing the blood out of the sink
when I looked up and saw my mother
She looked at my wrist and the blood in the sink
tears were in her eyes
I thought I was gunna be in big trouble
instead she walked over, hugged me, and cried
I started crying and hugged her back
as she sniffled and said through her tears:
“I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you,
or helped you through these trying years.”
“I was too caught up in my own grief and sorrow
so I left you alone to suffer in shadow.
We should have discussed the death of your father,
instead of being alone, all empty and hollow.”
We talked it all out and became closer than ever
I’ve gotten some help, there’s no more cutting to feel better
I know now that when I’m lost I won’t be alone
and now when I’m hurt and in pain, I try to let it show
Letting it show is the only way to get help
it may not be easy but I’m not by myself
I have my family who now help me when I fall
they will always be there, to comfort when I call
