Behind Classroom Doors

LIII- Moth to a Flame

This chapter puts me in my feels! Enjoy!

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Livia's P.O.V.

I get off the phone with Hunter and immediately begin to drive to his place. Hunter told me about seeing him with Katherine this morning. Shawn blew me off, and told me to leave. I was already on edge from that but then Hunter sees Shawn hug Katherine of all people. It doesn't make any sense, and what's worse is he didn't even tell me. I was ten feet away from her and he didn't even tell me.

When I make it I sit in his driveway and wait.

I feel like I'm acting crazy, I'm the one who's been ignoring him. I might be coming off as desperate but I thought we would be together by now. I did what he wanted, I left Dean. Then he decided to break things off in order to give me space. I understood that at the time, but now I'm just questioning it. I hate the feeling of anxiety bubbling up inside me, so much that I want to chicken out and leave.

Before I can, Shawn's car pulls up beside me. He gets out and walks over to my car. I open the door and get out. "Do you want to come inside?" I nod, wanting to get out of the cold.

We step inside, I watch as he takes his coat off and hangs it up, "Hunter told me he saw you with Katherine." I cut straight to the point.

Shawn sighs, "I thought he might."

I can't believe I have to even ask, "What were you doing with her?" It stings my heart thinking about them together. Even after everything she's done I know it's not likely but lately I don't know what to think.

"She came by for money, she was back on drugs so I took her to a clinic this morning. We stopped off for breakfast and on the way out she hugged me. That's what Hunter saw." My shoulders drop and I take a breath of relief. I was sure that we would never see her again but she clearly still has a thing for Shawn. I know what it's like to pine for something I can't have, so I suppose I can't really blame her. Still, it wasn't right what she did.

"I thought her family is rich." Is all I can think to say, I'm not mad or hurt anymore.

Shawn rubs the back of his neck but the only thing I can focus on is how his shirt rides up and shows how low his jeans hang on his hips. I force myself to meet his eyes, "They cut her off, mostly." His words make me feel more ridiculous than before.

"Oh." I turn to the door, "I'm sorry, I should go."

"Wait." I do what he says. "I thought we were going to talk?"

I thought so too. Then I realized that I don't want to hear him tell me that we can't ever be together. I don't want to hear that it's too complicated and that he can't risk it. I don't want him to tell me he loves me but it doesn't matter. "It's okay...we don't have to."

"Bullshit" He says, his voice is strained, like he's holding something back. I always feel like he's holding back but from what?

"Bullshit?" I ask, turning back to him.

He runs his fingers through his hair and clears his throat, "You've been ignoring me for the past week because of what I said. I know that it hurt you but I didn't mean it that way." He's so sincere but confident at the same time.

I wish I could be, "How did you mean it?"

"I just feel like we'll never be the couple you want us to be. We have to go outside of town just to be seen together. Even then it's no guarantee we won't get caught. What happens then? I lose my career and you get labeled a victim again?"

I take a step forward and point a finger at my chest, "I'm not a victim anymore and that's all thanks to you."

"No one else will see it that way. Even you at one point thought I was taking advantage of you. Maybe I am, I'm supposed to be the adult here and I slept with you."