carolina [h.s]

»two » bloody hell

"You're a monster, I would never love you."

  Carolina

"Are you sure you don't want to go home and change?" Finn asked me.

"I'm not leaving him." I said flatly. My throat was achingly dry and my eyes felt so heavy and big. I cried as much as I could tonight, the tears just eventually stopped. "And you don't have to be here, Finn. It's late."

  "Jason's my brother. And I'm not leaving you by yourself."

    These hospital chairs were now uncomfortable as well as the bright lights that gave me a migraine. "I'm so scared." I say low enough for only him to hear even though no one was listening.

   My mom and sister was across from us, sleeping and Ramona went off to go get more coffee. And as for James, Jason's brother, who was still in Spain nearly died when I told him the news. But I have no idea was going on. No doctors had come out to explain anything. I felt like I was slowly dying.

  "I know, but Jason's strong. He'll be okay."

"He was so worried before the match." I sighed, leaning my head back. "I told him that everything would be okay. I lied to him." I sighed. "I was even worried myself." Guilt, anger, sadness, what fucked up emotions to feel.

"You didn't know this would happen. No one did. I don't know what the fuck was going on through that referee's head when he saw foul after foul and did shit about it."

"Can I speak to you?" That voice.

It was an unfamiliar one but when I turned around and saw the face that belonged to the voice I nearly pounced. I jumped up from my seat and looked him dead in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to say...." he stopped mid-sentence, he was so hesitant. He looked at me. Really looked at me. First he saw my face and the blood. My shirt and then the blood. And my hands, my shaky hands that had his blood all over. I wish it belonged to Harry. "Bloody hell." He said low under his breath. His dark eyes were now glossy and showed guilt and concern.

"I don't know why they let you back here," my blood was boiling and I was trying to remain calm for the sake of my family. "But you need to leave."

"I'm sorry. I know that's not enough but I am so sorry." He shook his head slowly with each word. "I need you to believe me, Carolina."

"No," I say harshly, taking a steps towards him as he took steps backwards. "You don't get to call me that only Jason. My name is Caro." All of a sudden my hands came in contact with his chest and I pushed and pushed against it. "You. Nearly. Killed. Him!" My forceful pushes barely moved him anywhere and I could feel Finn grip my waist, pulling me away from him. "If I ever see your face again...... I'll kill you." I say through gritted teeth, meaning every word.

He looked at me like he wanted to say something. He contemplated and decided against it, walking out of the waiting room.

                                          ✧

  How am I alive when I feel like complete death?

   The doctor finally came out to deliver the long awaited news. He had 3 broken ribs, a concussion, broken nose, and his shoulder was dislocated. I can't even imagine the pain that he's in. They said that they're keeping him for a few weeks in case there's anything else internal going on. They only let me inside his room but he didn't stay awake long enough to utter a single word but I talked to him anyway.

  "I knew you'd be okay." I smile against his hand as I planted a soft kiss against it. "I love you and you'll be home soon and you'll be better. Hurry okay? So we can finally meet little Jason."

I haven't left my bed in two days. I haven't showered, eaten, slept, or barely drunk anything in two days. Even though I know Jason is alive and that he's going to be okay I just couldn't help what I felt.

I could've done more than just yell from the crowd. I could've told him not to go back to boxing. He asked me if he should quit after the accident but I encouraged him to do it. I mean how could I say no to something he truly loves? I just couldn't help but to blame myself.

"Miss Mitchell, how long have you been in bed?" Ramona's voice filled my bedroom. I wasn't expecting her and I nearly lost my shit when I heard her voice. I forgot she earned her way to a key just mere weeks ago.

"I haven't left since the hospital." I confessed.

The sun came pouring into the once dark room because Ramona decided to open the curtains. I pulled the comforter over my face. "Stop." I whined. "Why are you doing this?" I asked in annoyance. "Why are you even here?"

"It is in my contract that if anything happens to Jason I must now cater to you." She explained this new-founding news.

       Curiosity drove through me as I pushed the white quilt from over my face. "You work for me now?"

She simply nodded. "And I care for Jason as well. So if there's any updates I was hoping if it'll be okay if I know about them too."

  "Of course, Ramona." I nodded my head. "Of course. You, me, Finn, and his brother are his only family."

    And that was the truth. His family disowned him because of the career path he took. His parents wanted him to be something more than just someone who beats the shit out of people for money. They wanted him to be a lawyer, doctor, etc. But they never expected him to go far, never thought that he'd actually be a professional, famous boxer who's doing headlining matches and selling out shows. And when they found out his success they didn't hesitate to call and congratulate and also ask for money. And not just his parents, his cousins, aunts, cousins they all saw him as a free money bank and not an actual family member.

    Since then he cut all ties to his entire family. And he made me promise him that no matter what I would never contact them for him. I respect his wishes. And even if I wanted to I don't have access to their contact information.

  Ramona smiled and then cleared her throat. "Speaking of James he should be arriving later on tonight."

  "Okay, that's good." I haven't seen James in months and this won't be exactly a nice reunion considering the conditions of Jason.

"Finn left a message for you."

  "What's that?"

  "He wants you to meet him at the gym Jason trains at. He has information on Harry Styles."

And that my friends is what finally got me out of bed.