So here is a thing about me , I am heavily depressed and being a teenage hormonal girl doesn't help .now some people would say that "your not actually depressed it's just your hormones " *cough* *cough* my dad ... Well guess what ITS NOT . IVE BEEN LIKE THIS SENCE I WAS 8 FLIPPEN YEARS OLD ! THE ONLY REASON I REALIZED ITS NOT HOW EVERYONE FEELS IS FROM HEARING OTHER PEOPLE SPEAK . true story though I thought that feeling distant , empty , and paranoids that the people who crew about you actually hate you was normal till one of my friends started talking about how she was feeling lately and that she went to a therapist and was diagnosed with depression , now don't go thinking i was just like 'well I guess I'm depressed' cuz it took me quite some time of monitoring my behavior and thoughts to come to terms with it ... Is if the self harm wasn't a tell tale sign ... but one thing that really makes me MAD is when my dad says , and I quote , "just sit up straight (lol cuz I'm not but that's a different story ) and pretend to be confidant it will come eventually and you will feel better" now if you know me , which you won't ... That's the point of this account .... , you know that I am hella confidant their is basically no filter from my mind to my mouth , so I guess it's good that I'm a nice fun person or else I would be in trouble , but that's beside the point the point is it's not a confidence issue I genuinely hate my self and it's Frustrating when people either decide that it's not true and I can just will it away OR that they are my personal avionics and the moment I tell them about my mental issues I am no longer (my name) In their eyes I have just turned into a project or a damsel in destress ,and I know I probably need help BUT I DONT WANT IT I DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THEIR IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME , LIKE IM LESS THAN HUMAN , LIKE I BROKEN . BECAUSE I AM NOT IM STILL ME AND I WOULD RATHER DEEL WITH THIS MY SELF THAN HAVING TO GO THROUGH THE JUDGMENTAL LOOKS AND THOUGHTS .
I'm going to have to stop wrighting for now ... I can't Handel saying more on the topic just yet o, it really touches a nerve ... And if any one ever reads this , thanks your view means someone cares and I admitted this to a person so again thanks .. And I promise it won't always be about bad stuff in this book .seriously, the later chapters are happier
YOU ARE READING
SCREAM!
RandomWe live in a world full of annoyances and frustrations , sometimes we just need to scream . Welcome to my book or randomness , it can be sad , it can be boring , it can be funny . Take a trip and get some insight to the mind of an Anonymous author...
