37 days || A Teen Wolf fanfic

Chapter 1

Stiles

I'm tired.
I'm tired when I go to sleep and I'm tired when I wake up again. No matter what I do, I always feel this kind of inertia deep inside of me, as if a heavy burden last on my shoulders, putting me down every single day.
So yes, I am tired. But it's no tiredness which you could easily get rid of because I know that there will never be enough amount of sleep in the world to cure me.
Which brings me to the point that nothing can cure me.

So why am I still here?

I am tired of being used, broken and tossed aside. I'm tired of the people around me, I'm even tired of my own thoughts. I'm tired in so many different ways that I can't even think of another adjective to describe me.

Everyone wants to help me but how do you save a capsized boat from drowning?
Right, you can't.

And while they always keep saying that the world is still turning, I just imagine myself laughing and screaming at the same time.
Yes, the world is moving on but that's exactly what is wrong. The world is still moving as if nothing happened. As if your life wasn't completely shattered.
Because in the end, it's just your life. One of a million, insignificant ones. And when the going gets tough, you still have to handle it for your own.
And that's exactly what I'm trying to do.

I try to remember when things got so different but I can't.

I don't know when the world around me began to be such a pitiful, disgusting place.
A place in which I don't even want to live anymore.
And I don't know on which day I stood up, realizing that one important thing of me is missing.
My faith.
My faith in the world, my faith in others. I don't even believe in myself anymore.
My faith is gone, and with it the only best friend I've ever had.

As opposed to the other things which I can barely remember, that's the one thing which will always stay in my mind.

Crystal clear, like a broken piece which is cutting me everytime again.

And again.

And again.

It happend exactly 37 days before.
The day when I lost my brother.
The day when Scott died.

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Thank you so much for reading part one of my new story! I honestly don't know where it's going but we will see, I'm excited! I'm sorry for all spelling mistakes but it's actually one of the first fanfics I'm writing and the very first in English, so don't be so hard with me please :) I hope you enjoyed it, let me know your opinion in the comments and we'll see us hopefully the next time ^^