37 days || A Teen Wolf fanfic

Chapter 2

Stiles

A knock on the door let me start up from my sleep. Well, honestly it was more than just one single knock because whoever was standing at the other side of the door hewed downright against it.

Knock, knock, knock.
A short break.
Knock, knock.

"I'm coming!" I groan as I couldn't hear it anymore. The numb feeling inside me still didn't want to go away, as well as the slight headache which was constantly growing with every sound I was hearing.

The knocking stopped, so I pulled myself together and fold back my blanket. As the cold air came into contact with my revealed legs, I started to freeze.
I've never been so easily cold. I may be a bunch of fragile bones, but I was never so affected by the cold as I am now. And it wasn't even winter, but more midsummer.
But I guess that's just one thing which came together with all the other things. The constant feeling of being no one. Sleeplessness. Or, in case that I'm actually able to close my eyes and turn off the whispering voices in my head, nightmares.
It's always the same dream. About the night in which everything changed. Scott and I, together in this old, empty warehouse. Lydia and Malia waiting for us in the car, taking care that nobody would come after us.
Not more than one second, just a blink of an eye...

"Stiles!" I could clearly hear Lydias voice now, she seemed furious and afraid at the same time. It took me a moment to realize that I still haven't opened the door.
Lost in thought, I added to the list above. One more thing that has changed.

You could possibly believe that dreaming of Scott and seeing him die more than once somehow makes it easier to get along with, but it doesn't. Everytime when I stuck in my dreamworld again, everytime when I see, when I witness it again, it just gets worse. And there's absolutely nothing I can do about.

"Stiles, what the hell were you doing? I thought..." She stopped in the middle of the sentence, her gaze wandering over my body and back to my eyes, were she could still see my dried tears.

"One of your dreams again?"
I nodded in silence and took a step sidewards to let her in. She didn't hesistate.

"It's getting worse, am I right?", she wispered, her hand slowly finding my shoulder. I trembled, unable to speak out the words which were on the tip of my tongue.

Lydia felt my sudden rush of uncertainty and strengthened the grasp on my shoulder.
"Stiles, please talk with me." Her eyes found mine and I saw nothing but endless concern in it.

"I don't think it can be any worse than it already is", I finally managed to say but my voice wasn't more than a quiet whisper.

"Then talk with me. You don't have to go through this alone. I'm here." She tried to comfort me with her calm voice. Normally it would have worked out, but not now. Not in this situation.
Quiet the reverse, it just made me even more angry.

"But you can't help me! Nobody can help me! Why can't you all just leave me alone? Go, please! Just go!", I shouted and she shrinked from me, shocked by my sudden surge of emotion. Instantly, I wished I could retract my words. Lydia was the only one who didn't leave my side.

"Lyds, I'm sorry", I said, but she just shook her head.
"No, it's okay. Gotcha. I know that he was your best friend, you two were almost like brothers. But you know what? He was also my friend. I also miss him. We all do! But we're not acting like you. You changed, Stiles, you changed a lot. And with every day I get the feeling that I don't know you anymore."

Her words hurted me more than I wanted to admit but I didn't show her my feelings. Instead I wispered: "That's what people do. We don't always stay the same. We change."

A sad smile was formed on her lips before she slowly stand up.
"Yeah, people change. But I don't know if Scott, if he still were here, would recognize you. Because I don't."
With this words she closed the door behind her and left me alone again.

Alone with my feelings.
Alone with my thoughts.
Alone with everything.