SMUT and FLUFF and STUFF

Harry's Wand

"Harry! Harry! With that wand you must be a wizard!"

"What wand, Hermoine?" Harry smirked suggestively.

"Oh you know harry the magic wand," Hermoine hums as she gazes at my lower half.

"This wand?" Harry groans whimpering at his unwizardly thoughts.

"Oh harry mmmmm im salivating"

"Oh yeah, call me your wizard daddy" Harry can't help but say before she gives him a questioning look but continues to discuss Harry's wand.

"Harry you just spell bind me with that big wand." Harry was getting extremely turned on by Hermoines metaphorical flirting.

"You like that wand?"

"Yes it is perfect...how much is it?" Hermoine cooed innocently batting her eyelashes against her rosey cheeks.

"Eleven inches bb" She looked utterly shocked as Harry uttered this confidently

"Harry what the f*ck are you on about I am talking about that wand in your hands." What wait? Harry panicked oh damn how was he gonna cover up his eleven inches (verbally and physically ;) )

"Oh.... OH. Yeah, it's uh, eleven. I... yeah." He was speechless, mortified.

"Great! What a steal and then maybe uhh.... " She spoke quietly.

"Then what?" Harry replied firmly like his...

"Take a look at your..." *runs off* Harry smirked to himself ' there is still hope buddy'.

I set myself on fire now

I'll light a match and watch the flames burn through my house

I set myself on fire now when I think of you

Pour out the kerosene, Yeah pour it all on me

Harry continues breaking out into song and dance cause "I write sins, not tragedies".

But Hermoine continued to sprint away she didn't want Harry to know about her new found obsession...

He gazes lustfully into the distance, singing emo lyrics.

I CHIME IN WITH A HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GOD DAMN DOOR

Harry continues to dance to his newest emo band obsession. All dat P!ATD and FOB really speaks to him. As he watches her walk away, a lone tear slips down his cheek. He wipes it away angrily, scoffing. He'll show her.

He sprints back to his dorm, ignoring the stares of the other students. He runs into the girl's dormitory, straight into the bathroom where he grabs the nearest makeup bag. He dumps the contents carelessly across the counter, breaking several palettes of makeup. He doesn't give a sh*t. He ignores the screams coming from the common room behind him, instead sorting through the cosmetics until his hand finds its' prize.

He yells triumphantly and grasps it in his palm, turning and running back the way he came. He finds the nearest gender-neutral single person bathroom (because Hogwarts is progressive af) and slams the door behind him, locking it with his wand (wooden one(not morning)). Finally he opens his palm to stare down at his precious token of victory. A tube of black eyeliner! It's the liquid kind, and he honestly isn't sure how to use it, but how hard can it be, right?

He leans over the mirror and twists the cap off, wondering what the f*ck he's supposed to do with it. He found a picture of Gerard Way (bae) and Brendan Urie in Hermoine's locker a few weeks ago, and since then he's been determined to become one of them. One of the club. One of the legion of emos. He doesn't care that it's 2017 and that emo died ten years ago. It's who he truly is.

He flicks his wand, creating emo music out of his chambers walls.

In the meantime, he leans over the mirror and decides to just YOLO it. He drops the eyeliner brush and takes the entire container and shakes it into his eyes.

Suddenly moaning mertle appears. Wonder how she really got the name ;)

"Ooooooooh Harryyyyy you're so handsome" *giggle*

One night they f*cked so hard she should have been nicknamed screaming mertle. Dryyyy (like murtles vag) because he literally raped her.

HOLY SH*T plot twist!!!

He sees nothing. He wonders for a moment if he's gone blind. The makeup burns worse than taco night in Hogsmeade. (Drops mic).