My Ex-Boyfriend. [BOOK 1&2] COMPLETED

[20]

LARA

"DAMN it! Please, make it stop! Make it stop!" Hawak-hawak ko ang kamay ni Gian habang sumisigaw ito sa sakit. His head was aching so bad that I can see that he is really suffering from it. Hindi niya magawang magalaw ng maayos ang katawan niya.

He is scheduled for an operation in two days. That is our only hope. Our last draw. Doon namin malalaman kung makakaya pa ba, kung kakayanin pa bang maipagpatuloy ni Gian ang buhay niya.

I was shocked when a small hand held my free hand and saw Kei staring at me with teary eyes. "Mommy, what's wrong with Tatay? Why is he shouting?"

Napalingon ako sa pintuan at nakita ang mga magulang ko na kasama ang kambal. Tito Daniel hurriedly rushed in as well.

"Gian, anak. What's wrong? Anong masakit? Gian.." I can see Tito Daniel's pain from watching Gian like that.

Gian stopped moving and held my hand tighter. "Di ko na kaya.."

Napahawak ako sa bibig ko habang pinipigilan ang pag-agos ng luha ko. Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. I hate him so much but I still can't deny the fact that I can't move on without Gian. I can't....

"Tito Daniel. Iuuwi ko lang po yung kambal." Paalam ko kay Tito Daniel nang makatulog si Gian. I hugged Kio and Kei.

No words can describe how useless I feel right now. But looking back to the times where we were still happy, laughing and everything was okay.. I can't help but cry and be sad. Hindi na ba maibabalik yon? Hindi na ba mangyayaring maging masaya ulit kami?

Napaupo ako sa couch at napahawak sa sentido ko.

"Mommy, here's water." Kei said while giving me a glass of water. I took the water and hugged Kei.

I saw Kio walking to me and wiped my tears away. "Mommy.. Don't cry. Tatay will make it."

I smiled and hugged the both of them. They hugged back and I realized I shouldn't be like this. I should be stronger because I know, ngayon dapat ako maging malakas.

GIAN

I opened my eyes just to see the same white ceiling. A cold air touched my skin and I felt a lonely feeling when I saw myself all alone in my hospital bed.

I just laughed in my mind.

What were you thinking Gian? This is your karma. Your karma for letting go of the only person who held your hand in times of despair and in times of hardships and sorrows. Iniwan mo yung taong nag-iisang ipinaglaban ka kahit na buong mundo na yung tumututol sa inyo. I let myself drown in the temptation and in the fear I have.

Isa akong napakalaking tanga.

Although I was drug-dependent because of Christa, that's not an excuse. I'm a poor willed guy na mabilis tangayin ng agos ng makamundong mga bagay.

I think I deserve this.

I deserve this pain, I even deserve to die.