Mind Over Matter

Help

   Judgement and social media. That's what started it all.
   When you post something on social media you have to be careful because not everyone is going to view it the same way you did. Some people may even see it and blame you for the opposite. That's what happened to me.
   I have a friend, well not really "friend" but more of an acquaintance. Let's call him Andy. He's very controlling and intimidating because he's incredibly smart, making other people feel dull and less about themselves. He likes to put me down.

    I took a breath and hopped out of the car. Walking into the store I felt myself have a sense of relief and comfort. It felt like it was going to be a good night so I slapped a smile on my face and met up with my friend, let's call him Wade and his friend that I was meeting for the first time tonight.
    We had a great time walking around and enjoying each other's company. I even decided to take a silly picture and post it on Snapchat of the both of them kissing one of my cheeks.
    My boyfriend, Tyler saw this and immediately thought that I was cheating on him. He easily convinced my other friends of this too, making them think that I was a cheater too.
    "Why the hell would you do this to me? After everything we've been through." Tyler asked me along with many other things.
     With everything seeming to spiral around me, I asked Andy for help.
     "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he said, "Your friends are right about you. You're a cheater, hypocrite and a liar. You're a worthless piece of shit that deserves to die."
     That was it, it pushed me over the edge. I quickly got up from where I was sitting in my room and headed for the bathroom. When I first put the razor to my wrist, I was hesitant. The better part of me was saying not to do this, but Andy's words echoed through my head, louder than the better parts of me.
     My blood was warm, running down my wrist. It seemed like I couldn't stop, everything around was telling me to just die.
     I remembered then, a quote that I live by today; "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Then I thought of what would happen to my parents if they found me dead in a pool of my own blood. I also thought of my real friends and what would happen to them if they learned that I had killed myself over something like this. I would just be passing my pain onto the people that I love. I couldn't do that!
    I texted my mom for help and she ran upstairs and took me to the hospital.

    Today, I see therapists and am getting the help I need. If you are struggling with something similar then you should try to get some help too.