What's my age again?

Chapter One:

Evelyn POV

You would think after forty years of living in the same eternal time loop, I would get used to the day to day life of a housewife. Well, you thought wrong! I fucking hate it – getting up in the morning, cooking my husband breakfast, boring missionary sex, shower, walk dog, pick up dog shit...day after day, after day it was all the same kind of shit and I fucking hated it.

When I was younger I had dreams, I was going to be an astrologist – I loved the stars. I adored studying planets, the movements of celestial objects and how they caused physical reactions on each planet. It was fascinating – however, when you are young and in love your dreams stop making sense and they stop mattering...at least that's what I was led to believe.

Lawrence was a nice man at first, he was smart, handsome – from the first time I met him he caught my attention. He was one of the only men to manage to keep up with my mind. You see, ideas come and go and dance around the inside of my mind at a million miles per hour – I was sure I harboured about thirty miniscule planets in my mind. I was sure they just entered through my ears as a child and they fucked like jackrabbits until they created a strange little kingdom inside my brain.

I guess we will never know.

Flicking on the switch of my coffee maker I waited for the usual cup of coffee to filter into my mug. Coffee was a wonderful invention, cheaper than booze it made life a little more bearable; between the packs of fags and cups of coffee getting through the day wasn't half as difficult as it used to be. Leaning back onto the cold kitchen counter, I pulled on a pair of black rubber gloves and tied my matching apron behind my back.

'Safety comes first' I muttered to myself in the empty room as I cracked my neck to the side before collecting my steaming cup of liquid life out of the machine before taking a quick sip and swearing profusely at the hot liquid as it burned the tip of my tongue.

"Fuck! Every bastard morning you do this woman!" I snapped to myself as I walked over to the kitchen sink and pressed the small red button on the hot tap.

Blowing gently on my steaming cup of coffee I watched as the kitchen folded into itself, and the marble floor lowered down into a large metal room as the cream walls of the kitchen disappeared to form the reinforced metal walls of my work room.

"Computer start daily log." I yawned as I watched the room transform before my eyes, cracking my shoulders and turning to crack my back I let out a sigh of relief and headed towards my desk and computer.

"Starting day log #13505." A female mechanical voice echoed across the room as I sat down.

"There have been no signs of this loop breaking – each day remains as monotonous as the last. I am working on an invention which should be able to transport me out of this loop into a regular universe with consistent time barriers." I mused as I pulled out some paperwork from my drawers and began pinning them to the cork board above my desk.

Getting lost in my musings I took a sip of my coffee, forgetting that it was still really bloody hot I let out another hiss as I burned my lips this time.

"Side note: Coffee is STILL fucking hot – in future should try iced coffees." I state out loud as I place a small piece of paper over my coffee mug to prevent the mistake happening a third time.

My husband has no knowledge of this place, if he did there would probably be hell to pay. He wasn't a fan of me doing anything he deemed as mentally taxing; he was one of those assholes that thought that women having rights was a wonderful concept pre marriage, however, once a woman was married all her intellectual capacity was lost and passed onto the husband – the man of the house – the omniscient yet impotent bread winner.

I didn't hate my husband...he was just a bit of a cunt. It was a fact – men get like that after a few years of marriage. They become old, miserable cunts.

Standing up for a moment to look over my work from a new angle, I heard an unfamiliar rumbling noise coming from the outer walls. The noise was becoming louder and louder – I took a step back from the wall just in time for a large space shuttle to come ploughing its way into the room; completely obliterating the front wall from the impact.

"Well...this is different."

3POV

The latest adventure for the troublesome duo hadn't gone to plan. Not that this was any different to the outcome of most of the adventures of the duo. On this particular occasion Rick had managed to royally piss off a collective hive of slugs – Morty had managed to find a secret cavern full of salt and the rest was history...or so they thought – turns out that this particular sub-race of slug were not affected by salt...if anything it powered them into super slugs.

Needless to say, the two managed to high tail their way out of that particular dimension faster than they arrived. However, in their haste the programming of the ship had gone a little astray landing them on an unknown universe...more specifically, landing them directly in the path of a great metal wall.

"See Morty I told you we could get away, those seven armed slime filled fuckers ain't as fast as they should be. You would think having seven arms would make them faster..." Rick slurred as he pushed himself out of their ship and took a look around at his new surroundings.

Poor young Morty followed his grandfather out of the ship, his complexion not as pleasing to the eye. The young boy's legs still shaking as he stepped out of the ship onto the stable flooring.

"Y-yeah, I just need to..." The young boy began as he took hold of the remained of the wall to keep himself steady.

"Oh come on it wasn't that bad!" Rick slurred looking over at his nauseated grandson before burping and taking a long gulp from his hip flask. The two males stood looking around at the now semi torn apart room – papers still flying around and dust filled the air making their eyes burn.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" A familiar female voice came screaming from behind a cloud of dust. As the figure moved into Rick's line of sight he burped dropped his flask and started coughing violently.

"Evelyn?" Rick coughed under his breath as he quickly looked over the woman; it couldn't be right Rick thought to himself, his mind running a million miles per hour. She was dead; Evelyn died forty years ago...he saw her die...he buried her. He knew that there were no others in any parallel universes....he has searched, he had checked...

"Look what you two have done to my fucking wall!" The woman exclaimed, Rick continued to cough in shock.

The older man now refusing to look at the woman in front of him out of fear that he would see what he thought he had seen. It wasn't like Rick Sanchez to be bashful, shy or even remotely bothered by people. He never spared enough fucks for them to really make any impact on his life at any moment.

"Sorry about your wall. D-Didn't see it. Wasn't looking -"Rick coughed and burped unattractively as he covered his face, not out of any sort of manners but out of sheer shock. Not wanting to meet the gaze of the woman in the black apron out of fear that she may recognize him. He had never been ashamed of his appearance until now...

The young woman seemed less than impressed with the display in front of her, turning to the younger male who staggered towards her desk she let out a gasp.

"Please don't erupt over my..."

"Desk..." She groaned as she covered her eyes and lowered her head as the young boy proceeded to projectile vomit across her desk, covering all her paperwork with chunks of warm vomit and half masticated food which clung to the wall and slid down leaving a pile of sludge on top of the desk.

"Aww Jeez!"