A Spoonful of Sugar

Come on Audrey don’t be ridiculous.

Her hand hesitated on the handle. Oh, god this is going to go badly, let’s just leave when I can, yes?

She hovered over the doorbell. One second, come on, that’s all you have.

She bit her lip. She could pike out of this. She could go, there was still time. Nothing is set in stone.

Her hand fell into a loose fist at her side. How could she ever be like her great-great-great-how-many-times grandmother?

Well bite the bullet and find out you idiot.

Her hand listed again until a mutter over her shoulder.

“Lost my girl?”

“I really have no time for stupidity.”

She looked over her shoulder.

“Stupidity? Nah, not me. I am the model of sensibility.”

Audrey smiled; her great-great grandmother’s smile would melt the hearts of men and alight the hearts of children. Hers just told everyone she was up to something.

“Really now?”

“You don’t believe me?”

“Not a word.”

“Well…you still haven’t answered my question.”

“What? Oh right, no I’m not lost, I’m just…second guessing myself.”

“So, the usual.”

“Ever the gentleman, Levi.”

Levi laughed, a sharp little noise produced when flicking his head back almost presumptuously.

How a laugh could be at all presumptuous Audrey had no clue, but she was sure that Levi’s came closest to it.

“Now how about you hop off for a bit, I’m quite busy.”

Levi laughed again and raised an eyebrow “How the hell are you busy, consoling your troubles with a doorbell?”

Just to be stubborn, Audrey did it and the minute that bell chimed she regretted it.

“Have fu-u-un.” Sung Levi skipping off.

That last note of his daunting little song made Audrey’s palms sweat. Running a hand through short, blondish red hair, adjusting her skirt and pushing her glasses further up her nose, she watched as the door swung open and her impending doom waited.

She masked her fear with a plastered smile which she hoped wouldn’t be too fake. She prayed wouldn’t be too fake.

“Hello, I’m here for the nanny advertisement?”

And she knew she was fired before she even started.

 “Do people even need nannies anymore?”

“I don’t know. I thought we were past that and, you know, I could aspire to be a preschool teacher or something. Neurologist.”

“A neurologist is nothing like a preschool teacher.”

“And a psychopath will probably never be a nanny, is that fair?”

Audrey ran the spoon down the ice cream tub again.

“That and I never wanted to be a nanny.”

Levi waved to spoon in front of the tub, desperate for one more…

“I’m too depressed to share.” Audrey pulled the tub away and Levi pursed his lips in mock-sulkiness.

“I don’t even get it, why can’t people take care of their own kids, I mean, back in the old days sure, massive house, hectic parents and cluttered lifestyle, sure, an extra hand would be great, but there is absolutely no need to have another person to come and help. There are such things as schools! These kids were like, nine and ten! They can honestly take care of themselves at school.”