Roman Gods Story

A Date with a Stalker

Joanna

A Date with a Stalker

I squinted as I aimed. The arrow zipped into the target and I heard the cardboard wince. Score.

"Nice shot." Said a cold voice.

I spun around on my heel. "Who are-" I started. But he was quicker. He lunged at me and pinned me to the ground: his knees by my hips and his palms firm on my elbows.

His blond hair dripped with rain. His unnaturally blue eyes glared at me. Have I mentioned I have a thing for strangers? I hate them!

"Joanna Howl." He said icily.

"What do you want?" I spat.

"Have they told you yet?" He prodded.

"Who? Told me what?" I raised an eyebrow and tried to keep calm. Well, as calm as an irrational person could when pinned to the ground by a stranger. A rational person would have started screaming a LOOOOOOONG time ago.

"Parents. Guardians. Anyone." He said impatiently. "Have they told you who you are?"

I clicked my mental 'Sass Start-up' button. "Hmm. For the past 12 years my name has obviously been Joanna Howl, now hasn't it? Otherwise, you wouldn't know which innocent girl to pin down, now would you?"

He flinched, then released me. After standing up and realizing I was still lying down, he held out his hand.

"I'm Scarlett." He said. "I'm sorry I scared you."

I let him help me up because that was totally my character: forgiving every person who just happened to feel the urge to pin me to the ground and start interrogating me. Well, no, actually I'm not that much of a goody-goody. I let him help me up because, well, just because! And besides, it was the alternative to laughing so hard I cried, because frankly, Scarlett's a girl's name. For once in my life, I listened to the little voice in my head that told me that there was a chance he already knew that, and that there were more pressing matters for me to freak about.

"So, what's this identity that I'm supposed to know of?" I asked, cocking a hip.

"Tomorrow." He promised. "Tomorrow I'll tell you everything."

He started backing away until he realized I was:

a) following him

b) about to ask how the heck I was supposed to find him tomorrow

c) trying to find his weakness so that I could rule out the best time to slap him.

Well, maybe not c). I kind of added that later. But I was definetely regretting not doing that in the first place.

"At the Regional Avenue Starbucks." He clarified. Then he turned around and started running.

People certainly seem to have strong opinions about me. Whenever I pass by Regional Avenue, they watch me like I'm a robot. They gossip about my clothes. The way I walk The way I breathe. And no one ever tells me why. Maybe I'm some reincarnation of the French duchess or something. I don't know. I just don't like it.

And guess where Scarlett asked me out to? Hmm, let me think, I could have sworn it was something along the lines of 'Regional Avenue'!!!!! I walked in, my teeth chattering. God, I was nervous.

Yep. Me. Nervous. I blame Scarlett. I mean, my 3rd grade drama teacher would have kissed his shoes for making me nervous. She was the kind of teacher who based her classes on stagefright, and let's just say she didn't appreciate me explaining that I'm not scared and she's gonna have to find some other wimp to reassure. Oh, and on a completely irrelevant topic, she lives on good ole' Regional Avenue. Uh huh. Talk about luck.

Scarlett had already reserved a table at Starbucks. Normal Starbucks's don't have tables. They have coffee. But the mayor of a certain avenue decided that he wouldn't allow a Starbucks without tables. Now coffee- that's not nearly as important. For all he cared, Starbucks Coffee could serve marshmallows and pizza. Just as long as there were tables. Now where was I before I started blabbering about tables? Oh yeah, Scarlett's table.

As I sat down he looked me square in the eye and got straight to the point.

"You are the Roman Goddess Diana."

My mouth dropped open. Just so you know, I'm not one of those heroines who fall for it, scream 'really' and go on quests with knights in shining armor. Heck, I'm not even a heroine.

"Lemme guess, you're Zeus?"

"Uh, no." He said slowly, averting his eyes. "Zeus is Greek, and you're Roman. Zeus's Roman counterpart, Jupiter, is your dad."

He looked up, not knowing how I would take the shocking news that my dad's a god.

Paging through my mental history of mythology, I decided to play along.

"I'm twelve years old. My earliest memory is of kindergarten. You're telling me that I'm extrememly abnormal because I should be dating back to forever?"

"Of course not." He shook his head as if I was totally missing the obvious. "You're reincarnated every lifetime. I personally think it's a much better system than the one those Greek freaks are using. They stay the same forever, and usually have to adapt to whatever the people do."

"Sooooo, who would you be?" I asked. I'm touched. I've never met such a ridiculous, self-centered liar.

"Mars."

"The war dude?" I sputtered, trying not to laugh out my guts.

"Uh yes." He looked uncomfortable and old. "The, um, war dude."

I hit jackpot. I had a loophole. "Wait a second. Jupiter's wife is Hera, right?"

"Juno. Also his sister."

"Eeewww! That's beside the point. The point is that my mom's name is Mira. Sup with that?"

"There are two answers. The first is by the great philosopher Ramses-"

"Ramses, stupid, is a pharoh."

"Right. Soooo.....Delphine, the great philosopher, says that the Gods get tired of marrying the same sibling/woman in every single generation. I mean, to be stuck with you, well that would just be awful!"

"Thanks." I said, sarcastically.

"The second answer is by your twin."

"I don't have a twin."

"You did back when you had memories!"

"You were saying."

"Well, as he would like to say, your name's Joanna, isn't it?"

"Lovely. And now I'm supossed to go home and pretend nothing ever happened, right? So I come in and I see my dad typing on the computer. Thinking about what you just told me, I accidentally say, 'Hey dad, what's it like, cheating on your sister?' For that, I get booked on the first flight to the nuthouse, and you run free, telling innocent kids that they have the power to rule the world."

"You're actually the first one who's figured out my plan."

I get up, order a mocha frapuccino, and leave, hopefully forever.