For You

J

Jungkook, the time i wrote this was like the really soft hour so i'm like 100% honest and blunt. i literally type what pops up on my mind.

so here's the thing.

you're a really amazing man. why?

because i, who promised herself not to fall for a male idol, now is head over heals for you.

i know how the end of this is like. how this will make me. how crushed my heart would be. how this will change my life.

before, i was stanning a female idol, still am, actually. and i feel safe & at peace. i'll be hearing dating news from her soon enough. right then, i wouldn't be that moved from my place. i will support & fight for her with all my might.

but for you? i don't know, jungkook. i will support you though, still. of course. i can't drop you just like that because, as silly as it might sounds, you have my youth.
i will be okay everntually but for the first time hearing about your dating news? i wouldn't be. at all. i will be all smiley for you though. but deep down, it's all crusty and dry, jungkook. i won't be fine at all.

i'm scared, jungkook. i don't want to have the jealousy feelings. but i want you to be happy.

that would be an irony if i walk away from you once you've found your happiness because that- hoping you to be always happy- is what i always say.

i'm still glad i'm just a fan though. if i were happen to be your friend? gosh that would be so fucking hard meeting you again.