To Be One (ENGLISH VERSION)

Chapter 7: Heartless Decision

Chapter 7: Heartless Decision

"Here's your change Sir." Noctis picked up the money on the counter and carried a medium size paper bag filled with who knows what. He reached for his wallet and placed his change inside. The man in mid-forties on the counter eyed him in silence. He noticed the boy's gloomy expression, dejected from whatever the boy was dealing with at the moment. "Not so jolly as usual, huh? Something the matter, kid?" The man couldn't seem to hold himself from asking since this is the first time he saw the ravenette showing such sad emotion.

'Well, today must be such a terrible day for him.'

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing to worry about, Jerry. Just having a bad morning. I'll eventually get over it," the ravenette replied with a faint smile for reassurance before taking out a lollipop from his bag and unwrapping it to be eaten. Though, the depressive and scornful feelings started yesterday at the school. He's been cranky all day long and it made his mood worse when he couldn't sleep last night. Asher's words haunted him along with Pearl's hurt expression.

The ravenette came back to reality when the cashier guy named Jerry snapped his fingers in front of the male's face. "Look kid, reality is so harsh so it's better we accept it than denying living in illusions. Here..." Jerry took a pack of strawberry-flavored condom and handed it to the young male which made the ravenette choke on his candy. "They say a blissful night can take all the worries away. So why don't you hook up with someone for the night, eh? Uncle Jerry got your back, kid." The man gave Noctis a wink, making the male smile nervously. "T-This... I can't take—"

"Oh shush. Keep it. I'll pay for it." Jerry insisted. "Now off you go. You're holding off the line."

Noctis was kicked out of the store with the condom in his hand. He started to sweat profusely as red painted his cheeks in heat. 'That damn old man... Just what in the world got into his mind?' His obsidian orbs gaze on the condom pack on his hand, crushing it out of annoyance and throwing it in his bag. 'Whatever! I'm throwing this once I see the next trash bin!'

The ravenette chewed on the candy in his mouth, savoring the sweet flavor of strawberry. It was a peaceful Saturday. It's a little sad to see only a few people passing by the streets heading to his dormitory. Tall infrastructures were everywhere, but it looked so empty; it's not as if Noctis mind. Rather, he enjoyed it, this peaceful weather. The cool breeze caresses his skin, making him close his eyes and letting out a deep sigh.

'You always resort to violence. No wonder your bitch died.'

His mood went sour as soon as Asher's words came across his mind. Noctis felt that his punch wasn't enough. He wanted to do more but he also knew nothing came good, venting his anger towards the albino. 'What does he know anyway? All he knows is how to run his mouth as if he knew everything.' Is what he thought. Yet, he can't deny that what Asher said were facts.

Another series of unwanted images appeared in his mind. The image of the burning building in the background as the sky turned embers in the dead of night. The image of a young woman getting dragged away by men from the imperial palace and the helpless ravenette couldn't do anything but scream as men separated him from the woman. Blood was spilt when he fought back, killing numerous knights to save his beloved. But... the worst image appeared. The image of a lifeless woman in his bloody hands, made his chest ache so bad it felt as if it was being squeezed so hard.

'Noctis... It's not your fault.'

'No... No! All of it is my fault! It's because of me, she...' He thought. Pain filled his chest whilst he panted heavily. The ravenette broke into cold sweat as he dropped on his knees. Guilt and regret devoured him slowly. He could feel his tears threatening to fall as the past haunted him. No one was there to help him. The streets were empty and he was hyperventilating. He was suffering alone like how he suffered back then after losing his parents. He had no one. His best friend who thought understood him the most betrayed him for blind loyalty. And he'd rather not bother his friends since they know nothing. 'It's fine like this...' His mind spoke. He'd rather suffer alone than drag more people into his problems.