Scared to love

Intro

WARNING this story contains scenes of:abuse, rape, self harm, sex, and violence. If your not comfortable reading that than this isn't for you.

Sometimes I sit and wonder why I got the life I have. I never did anything to deserve parents who are either barely home or always high. My dad's okay I guess he can be really rude sometimes but he's never home because he's a drug dealer and even when he's home he mostly just gets high or does work. My mom is always high and just kinda sits around the house or Sits in her room all day. The only good things in my life are my friends Leslie and Sierra and my boyfriend Sam or so i thought.

Flashback to a month ago

I'm at Sam's football practice waiting for it to end so he can take me home already. I have so much homework to do and I really don't plan on staying up too late to finish it. Coach blows his whistle signaling practice is finally over so I make my way down the bleachers to meet Sam. He comes out of the locker room in a muscle tank and shorts and let me tell you them muscles are looking good. "Hey baby." He says as he kisses me on the cheek . "Why don't we go back to your place and just hang out for a few hours?" He suggests. As much as I want to say yes I have tons of homework and he probably just wants to make out with me instead if hang out anyway. "I really want to but I have so much homework." "Please baby we never get any alone time and I just want to be alone with you for awhile"a few hours couldn't hurt anything right. "Okay but only for a few hours" 

We get to my house and my mother is in her room probably passed out. So we head upstairs and go into my room. As soon as we get in Sam closes the door and starts making out with me. I pull back in shock."what was that for." I ask. "I just love kissing you so much and I couldn't help myself." We start kissing again but this time he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him. He roughly pushes me against the wall as the kiss gets heated. He than starts walking towards the bed throwing me down and then following a few seconds later. We continue to make out until he pulls away and starts trailing kissing down my jawline then my neck. He reaches one hand down to my jean button."I have been waiting so long for this." Once the words leave his lips i realize his intentions. I've never had sex before and I really Am not ready and we have only been dating for 2 weeks. "Wait I'm not ready for that yet Sam." He looks up at me like I'm a crazy person. "Do you know how long I have waited for this. 2 weeks, I haven't had sex in 2 whole weeks." Really "Yeah we've only been dating 2 weeks and I'm not ready for that yet." At this he stands up anger taking over his features. "Are you fucking kidding me right now 2 weeks is a long time Shane I'm not gonna wait forever you know." He can not be serious. I stand up and get in his face. "What is wrong with you I've never had sex in my whole life and now you just want me give you my V card just because we've been dating 2 weeks and your horny." "I can't wait much fucking longer Shane weather it's you or someone else." What "I thought you cared about me what happened to that?" "Well you thought wrong. I only need one thing in this life and if it's not gunna be from you than I'll get it from someone else."  Rage filed my whole body he's been lying to me putting up an act to get me in bed. "your kidding right you would cheat on me just for sex. You know what Sierra said she saw you flirting with Layla what are you gonna have sex with her cause I won't." I screamed at him. He grabs my arms and pushes me against the wall. "I'll do whatever the fuck I want and don't you even try to stop me."His grip on my arms tightens. " I'll break up with you if you cheat on me." His hold gets tighter if that's even possible so tight I can practically feel the bruises coming in. "You won't break up with me unless I want to break up. You will do what I say and you will tell no one about me and Layla or I'll hurt you. Eventually Shane I'll get what I want from you. Because didn't you know the best sex is with an innocent little virgin." After that he leaves me alone in my room to think about what just happened.

I slide down the wall and start to cry because my arms hurt so bad and my boyfriend obviously put on the "perfect boyfriend" act just so he could get me in bed. Now that his plan failed he's pissed and apparently abusive too. How can he expect me to just give my virginity to a guy I've been dating for 2 weeks. How can he expect me to move so fast. But what hurts the most is he doesn't care about me he only cares about sex and he's even willing to cheat on me to get it. And he hurt me he didn't even notice he just did it and who knows if he'll hurt me again or how bad he'll hurt me.

*** i promise this story gets better just bare with me.