I wasn't always poop. It all started when that woman made me... but I don't really remember that. So now, here I am in a box being carried to a birthday party at the end of August for a 2 year old boy, yay. Notice my sarcasm.
"Hey, Chocolate! Where are we?". It was the one and only Vanilla Cake! My twin. But we're obviously not identical because she's vanilla and I'm chocolate.
"Chocolate? Did you hear me?" she asked. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"Yes, Vanilla, but why are you talking to me? You never talk to me unless you want to make fun of me" I huffed.
"Well, we're going to be eaten soon and I wanted to be somewhat nice and talk to my brother. Is that so bad?".
It was dark in the box so I couldn't see her but I knew she was pouting to get her way. She always got her way.
"Well it seems a bit messed up don't you think? I mean I know we're only 4 hours old but you haven't stopped pushing me around".
"I would say 'I'm sorry' but thats not in my vocabulary".
Then we were being set on a table and there was muffled yelling. Oh No. The cover of the box was lifted and oh my! There were like 50 people!
There was singing and then I was cut and put on a plate.
It actually took a while for me to get in this baby's mouth. I learned his name was Liam. Well, he kind of just stared at me for 5 minutes and then the unimaginable happened... He grabbed my frosting!
"No! No one touches my frosting!" I tried yelling at him, but I know humans can't understand Sweetish, which is the language all sweets use.
The frosting was sticking to his little baby fingers like it was meant to be there, but it was supposed to be stuck on me! Not fair!
He took MY frosting and put it in his hair and all over his face and on his fat little baby tummy. He was so adorable for a baby... I mean this is the first time I've ever seen a baby but I bet they're all as adorable as him.
Wait, what is he doing? He's bringing me to his mouth. WHAT?! Oh, wait no he's not going to eat me.
"Oh, I want to kiss you too baby Liam- what? You can't kiss me while I'm in your mouth! You can't eat me!" I scream.
It's really, really, really dark in here. Ow! He bit me! Ew, his tongue is pushing me against his teeth. He keeps biting me. Ewy, ewy, ewy! His salivary glands squirted saliva on me! I could feel the enzymes slowly breaking me down. I never knew that this process was so slimy and disgusting.
Then his mouth opened again and something pushed me down a long slide which was the esophagus. In the 7 seconds that it took me to get to the end of the slide I looked back and caught a glimpse of what pushed me. Ice Cream?
"Sorry! It was an accident!" it yelled to me.
"Its ok, Ice-" I couldn't finish my sentence because Ice Cream fell on me, pushing us both into the stomach.
"Oops, I slipped. Hee hee" he said sliding off of me and into the gastric juices that were in Liam. Gross.
"What now, I.C.? Can I call you that?" I ask.
"Yes, that is perfectly fine with me. And now is when we wait 4 to 5 hours to get broken up into chyme. Hee hee". He is a happy scoop of ice cream.
I dont even think we were in there for 5 minutes until she met up with us. By 'she' I meant Vanilla.
"Oh hey guys" she greeted before she went on and on and on about some Pizza she met before she came here. Apparently she had a crush.
After what seemed like forever the gastric juices made all 3 of us into soupy chyme.
Then the sphincter opened up and emptied us into the small intestine, which isn't that small.
On our way we got to see the liver and bile, which the bile turned us all poop color, and that earned a screech from Vanilla.
Soon we were all fat free, once again done by bile.
Finally we were in the small intestine, which I said before, isn't small at all. It took us and sorted us into nutrients such as carbs, fats, and protein.
Finger like things I.C. told us were called villi and are filled with capillaries absorbed the nutrients and took them to Liam's bloodstream into his cells.
"That's capillary exchange, when they take nutrients into Liam's bloodstream and then it pumps all around your body. Thats the circulatory system" I.C. said.
Then peristalsis happened and we were squeezed through the small intestine and into the large intestine.
"The large intestine is 3 times wider than the small intestine" I.C. told us excitedly. "And it's full of bacteria to break down what's left of us".
Until we became poop, we just sat there in the 16 inch rectum talking.
"Well, this is the end of the path for us, Chocolate, I.C." Vanilla stated.
"We'll see the outside world" I mumbled.
"Yay! We'll be out of here soon! Hee hee" I.C. yelled.
Right after he spoke we were moving out of the anus and into Liam's diaper, also being squished against his bum.
"That was super fun! we're full of bacteria now because we're poop. Too bad it had to come to an end... hee hee, get it!" I.C. joked.
We laughed a bit and then Liam's diaper was changed and we were left in the rubbish.
I.C. was right, it was fun and we all befriended each other so it was all right. The End
