the last 31 days

First of the last

Hollywood, California 1960

Massimo rushed back to Elsa's luxurious mansion as soon as he hung up the telephone that afternoon. He couldn't deny the effect she still had on him, even after all those years, even after what he had been trough because of his blind love for her. She was still the chink in his armor even though he thought he could never be able to love her anymore. He sometimes wished that he hadn't let his rage take over him the way it did, that he could had considered Elsa's new happy life the best revenge on the monsters that took her legs. He didn't regret what he had done to those people, they deserved to die, but as he had taken their lives he had also thrown away his own future with the woman he loved so deeply, and this was a thing that he could never forgive himself for. Her eyes red and full of tears when she found out she was going to be alone in America and in the world without him, he could imagine the way they looked, and the suffering he caused her broke what remained of his heart when he was tortured by Grüper. There was nothing he could do to change this but Elsa still loved him and she was ready to throw her life in California away with all of her dedication to climb to the very top of the world for him, to live together and age, and be just fine in the end. The guilt kicked in when he had to brake the last of her dreams only the day before.

   Elsa felt her heart pounding in her throat when the door bell rang, it was Massimo, he came, there was not going to be a second chance, she had to talk clearly or he would leave again, and she couldn't let him. She opened the door and smiled in relief as soon as her eyes connected with Massimo's brown and once so warm and tender ones.
"Come in" she said, so he stepped in and took his hat off, going along with the gentleman he was.
He was waiting, silently, nervously waiting and it was quite evident as he hadn't let out a singol breath since he knocked, however words seemed to be flown away from Elsa's mind and she wasn't able to collect them yet, captured by the figure that had haunted her dreams and was now sitting opposite her.
"What do you have to tell me? It seemed to be...urgent, judging from your call" he finally let out in his beautiful Italian accent, after an hour it seemed.
"Yes, I...I've been thinking about our last conversation and...well, it seems like getting drunk can't help me anymore, my darkest thoughts never leave me." she let out a bitter lough then continued "I tried to forget about you and all we had in Berlin, but how could I succede in such a thing?". Another bitter snort and a few more minutes of absolute, tensed silence.
Memories were dancing in her mind, all of her happy ones, than the sad first years in America, then the rest of her tormented life. Massimo was just listening, and waiting, and nothing more.
"I've also tried to hate you for a while, thinking you a damn, heartless bastard was easier than crying to myself how you left me for no reason."
"I'm sorry I left Elsa, I should had never..."
"I know you're sorry, I've always been thinking that you couldn't had just drsappeared, I just didn't know the reason you did, but something had to be appened, that is why I've never been able to hate you, not really at least." "You know the worst part? I was notingh but a whore before we met, a nacisist, emotionless whore, but you changed me, deeply, complitely, beautifully; you saved me Massimo, and I'm not talking about the fact that you actually forbade me to let my body die, but you showed me how life could be worthy, even for me." Tears started to form into her eyes and the man fought against his will to stand up and hold her, to quaff the pain in which she was now drowning.
"When you left, Massimo, you took all of me with you, the purest part of my soul, which you had worked so badly to dig out of the darkness it had been hidden in for ages, left with you, so I became a cold, selfish whore again. Look at me, I'm the most orribile monsters that ever existed and I am... done." Tears now were freely running down her cheeks.
"You're beautiful Elsa, you are still the most stunning creature of all, even now that the sorrow of a whole life has torn you apart.." he would have liked to say, but those words were probably too heavy to let out into the suffocating air that filled the room leaving no recourse at all.
"I wish I had never left."
he said instead, thinking it a good summary of the monologue that had been through his mind.
She rose her head to look him in the eyes than said "how can I blame you for our ruthless destiny now that I know what Grüper did to you? You only wanted to do the right thing...how can this be your fault?
I wish I was mad at you, I really do but how could I? Drinking has always been supposed to make me forget about the two happiest years in my life, so the present would hurt less, but is it possible to forget such a thing?".
Of course it was not, he thought, nightmares had used to haunt his nights since he was tortured but somehow he had dreams every now and again, and she was always there in his dream, the scent of her silky skin and the sweet sound of her loughs... She was not that woman anymore and he certainly was not the man he used to be back than anyway.
"I know that you have only a month but what if we let it be the best we have had in ages?" She said trough tears and sobs.
"please, tell me that you want to spend the few days that are left to you together, because I want it...please, don't say no." "Lie to me if you have to" she cried out carved up by his silence.
Seeing her in those conditions was terrible and Massimo felt like he was smashing into pieces, he was still able to empathize with her, loving was probably not going to be that impossible.
"I don't want you to see me dying" he said feeling his defences easily dismantling.
Than her next words definitely broke his solid barriers to shards: "I will be the one to die if you leave again."
He got up and reached for her, suddenly locking her up in his arms. She rose her head in shock and met the blessing of his lips, fully, lovingly, burning with a growing passion that had been buried into dirt wreckage for too many years. Their hands explorating bodys they used to know well, lips and tongues greedily tasting each other since they needed nothing but that. Tears flowed along with the kiss, and they were like rain that finally made an ancient river stream again through the mountains, inevitable, brutal, effortless. Elsa broke the kiss and guided Massimo to her bedroom where both frenzy rushed their clothes off without breaking the skin contact. There was no time to stop and stare at each other, and their urgence pushed them on the bed soon. A blow of fire pervaded Elsa as she felt him inside of her again. That bad had seen tons of charming lovers during the years but nothing was nearly comparable to the ardor that was now deranging every inch of Elsa's shaking body. They both got to the very top of that soon and she barely screamed at it, than things softened down a little.
Massimo was now laying next to her, caressing the bright skin of her arm about loosing himself into her green eyes, finally. The sheets loosely covering her hips gave him the chance to look at her bare body finding it the most beautiful of all. She run her sight all around his figure too, not to miss the smallest detail. They had aged since Berlin but years hadn't taken what they used to love.
"This is going to be the best month in my life, mia cara" he said in a whisper and she widely smiled at him.
"It will be for sure, mio caro".