Just Friends (A Damie Fanfic!)

Monday

It is almost over but we waste now time in our romantic weekend. I have barely used any electronics besides the TV. Amelia has not texted me, which she rarely does anyway. Last night, Dakota and I went skinny dipping in the pool before christening almost every surface in her new apartment.

She drew a bath in her very large tub and we sat there for an hour just holding each other. We spoke very few words but the fact is I need not say a thing and she knows what I am thinking. Even our sleeping positions are in sync. I cant help but think of my wife and children probably not in the same place together, but still unknowing of the acts I am capable of. I feel all sorts of guilt. I need to clear my head and I know I will only be able to do that far away from both Dakota and Amelia. I need to see what it is I want and if what I want is something I can live with. Amelia and I have grown apart over the last few years. She avoids confrontation as do I. Ever since that night I called out Dakotas name. She holds no ill will towards her but I can feel the jealousy when they are around each other. From both sides, there is slight irritation.

Dakota comes out to the pool deck and lays between my legs. Jamie, are you having regrets? I mean do you not want to do this anymore?, Dont say that Kota, please I just... I have always considered myself an honorable man. Being here feels so right except my conscience is nagging me every step of the way. I keep seeing Millie and the girls heartbroken and betrayed. Do you think this is not hard for me! I cannot bear this at times. Last night I cried myself to sleep! The last thing I ever wanted was to ruin your family. Your marriage is a laughing stock Jamie! You said it yourself. We fell in love a long time ago. Years in fact. Holding hands, sleeping next to each other without a single act committed. We stayed friends despite every single obstacle. I stayed because deep down inside I knew I couldnt bear to live a life without you in it. I am here now bearing my soul to you Jamie. I am willing to wait but not forever. I am willing to fight if you want me to. I am willing to show you how much I love you but you need to let me know what you need me to do. Point blank Dornan, the ball is in your court. I hold her in my arms and we watch the sunset. I say no more because I dont know what to say.

That evening we did our cooking contest. She invited Blake, Chase, Olivia, Addison, Leo, and some other friends over and said surprise guest in the email so they were all curious. I was hesitant at first but I agreed because we needed a buffer since tensions were high in the house. I prepared my dish and she did hers. Then we made dessert together. I did the main course, which was a sirloin with roasted veggies and baked potato. She made the soup and salad, with her family chicken noodle soup recipe.

Everyone starts getting to her place and I havent seen them in so long. Jesse comes too and brings a big bottle of tequila. I need this right now. Good time with some good blokes. We dont hide our flirting or touchy hands. Everyone is used to us being comfortable with each other but we get some looks when she grabs me from behind the waist and puts her hands underneath my shirt. I turn around to grab her and she jumps up and wraps her legs around my waist. Jesses jaw drops like he just saw us fucking and Blake asks me to help him in the kitchen. When she lets go she winks at me and bites her lip.

I follow Blake to the kitchen, What the fuck is this Jamie? I dont know yet Blake, it is what she wants right now. For us to figure it out. Please we need discretion when it comes to whatever you see tonight. I just know that I love her and it kills me when I am not with her. My soul is in constant turmoil. My marriage has been a shamble for years and I have been holding on to what I think is the right thing to do for so long that I forget what it is like to be in love and to really want to be with the person you are in a relationship with. Blake, I think I am in love with her. No, I know I am. This is killing me Blake.

I am no one to judge what you two are or arent. Just know that I am friends to both of you. This is a very hard thing on all the parties involved. Dakota did not make this decision lightly. Jamie, she has cried so much over you. I remember a week straight I stayed with her, switching out with Olivia and Emily. We were all she had Jamie. All she wanted was a text or phone call from you. That was enough. You finally gave her a call one night. Remember? She sounded stuffy and told you she had a cold. I was there. She played it off because she missed you like crazy. You guys spoke for close to two hours and she was completely fine afterward. I have been there when shit falls apart. Please figure this out. I cant bear to see her like that again. I have shed many tears over her too. Mostly drunken tears. Tears that I never have told anyone about. I do love her. I just am stuck in an impossible situation. Do you still love Millie?, Yes and no. I will always love Millie. She is the mother of my girls. She is a talented and beautiful woman, who was once someone I thought I was in love with. I no longer feel like I am in love with her. Maybe once I was, although I have never felt a connection with someone the way I feel with Dakota. He pats my shoulder we grab some beers and head back out to the living area. Dinner was great and the jokes and laughs keep coming.

We are up to the wee hours and I am ready for bed. As everyone starts to leave, Dakota grabs my hand and we say goodbye to our guests at the door. Like a couple.

That night we talk about the girls and how big they are. I have been away more than I would like. I tell her my plans for the next few weeks. We talk about seeing each other again. We agree to give it at least a week. My agent left me a message that filming in LA is to begin for. I am to pick the girls up from our family in London. Millie is still working on some of her music and has vacationed with some friends this summer. She left the girls with her mum. I was concerned about all our time away and she was not very happy. We had a blow out over that. I tell Dakota how guilty I feel. That I will fly out to London, grab the girls and come back here. If Mel would help with them till I get a sitter, I would appreciate it. Babe, I will help. At least I can spend time with them till Millie gets back in town. I miss them so much!. I agree and we watch TV till we cant keep our eyes open. I hold her in my arms and I know tomorrow I must leave to, London.