Resentful Days

Girls gone pshyco

I trudged off the train feeling sluggish.I fell asleep during the ride and I don't have a clue what city I'm in.I could be in Hawaii for goodness sake.Get back to your plan idiot, my conscience reminded.Now that I was back on track, I searched for a livable spot to sleep.All I have seen is 14 -15 year olds sucking each others face off.Also I have a horrible feeling that someone is following me.I'm going to tell you now my life seems so messed up it couldn't get worse right, wrong.

FLASHBACK

Being 13 doesn't change the fact that one of my mother's clients forced me to deal drugs. The guys name name was Richard,  and his face was burned permanently into my mind, he said said"You'll be your innocent self, no one will know you are drug dealing"with that he chuckled and mumbled to himself.So at the age 13 and a quarter I was making at least 500 deneros a deal.I was able to support my mom for a while even though she was just useless.Even though I was at the deceitful age of 13, I couldn't find myself to leave the sorry bitch I call my mom.

FLASHBACK OVER

The sun was setting, but my good fortune found a place inhabited with a gang.The symbol on there arms was a distinctive snake wrapped around a long and sharp sword,talk about feisty.
I scrambled,not wanting to face them especially on what seems like there territory.I'm telling you my day is just getting more screwed up when a not to buff, more lean figured man approached my wimpy figure."Hey chick what are you doing here?"I whimpered as he lifted me off the ground by the scruff of my shirt."Hey Holland everything ok over there?"Another gang member called out."Yea,Randy,I got it."the man whipped his head and checked his surroundings before he let me down and shush ed my whimpers .He backed away and whispered "Your lucky I am the one that found you if the others did you'd probably be in 'the' corner"he gestured with his head to a filthy corner with a pile of scrunched up leaves."You look like you just got to be on your own so I am warning you,stay off of others territories or else"I would of put up a fight, but I thought about the distinctive blood marks at the corner and decided it be best to scram.

The sun was settling behind the grassy, beautiful hill and I had no where to go.I had passed by a soup kitchen but I refuse to stoop down to that level.I would only appear there if it was a life or death situation, now wasn't one.I had 45 dollars to spare, I would of saved more but I was pushed past my breaking point.Street by street I wondered looking for a good night rest.The best choice I have seen was a narrow alley way with a crumbling building next door.I settled down there for the rest of the night, did I mention I passed by a clock store and it was 2:42 in the morning.I set aside my side purse and with that last thought I drifted grumpily into a stiff sleep.

It had been 4 days since then.When I awakened I reached out for my purse but I found emptiness in its place.Well I had difficulties facing the fact some low-life took my purse while I was sleeping.My stomach grumbled at the stench of chicken,mash potatoes and rolls.The pains had been getting worse by the second.I stop by a antique store,stopping outside to check my appearance.I knew it sounded bad but I wanted to keep my image the best I could.When I walked the streets of my hometown (before I ran away) people would clutch there belongings and children as  homeless person wondered by.It was a shame, but I didn't want that happening to me.I l saw my appearance was covered in filth (Mud,Dirt,Littered Water)I also had a slash above my left eyebrow.I was carried out of my thoughts when a elderly woman passed by with papa johns pizza.I was surprised at the least to where she was heading, apparently people in this town cared about others when I saw her knock at the volunteers entrance at the soup kitchen and  hand over the pizza.

My mouth doubled over with saliva, was this what you called life or death?I was pretty sure I would die of hunger soon and it made the decision less harder.I shuffled over to the "kitchen" afraid of what others would think.I may seem tough but only when it is needed.I opened the rusty doors to find a reasonable line to receive food.They served hot dogs with green beans, rolls, brownies and cups for the water fountain.I couldn't help but think the time I reached to eat my food I would be dead from hunger.For a last resort there food wasn't horrid.I swiftly took a seat in front of a green eyed girl (about 13 years old) tall, with dirty blond hair.

We shared an awkward glance before she left for the fountain.When I had received my food the line for seating had tripled, seeing that we were on the other part of the room, separated from the fountain, it was only time before some ass took this sweet girls spot. He dumped her tray to the middle aged man next to him,  but no surprise the guy just started devouring her food. I don't know what, seeing the guy not give a crap, realizing that my life is considered trash or my belongings being hijacked I simply couldn't take it."This girl waited forever just to get the little food she has and you just can devour it without thinking, have you no shame?!?"I said only to a slight whisper so our table could hear. "And to you, she already has to come here to get feed isn't that enough? You may have dealt with this longer but she has every right to sit there without the added bullshit!" I said gesturing to a teenager, about the same age as me with ocean blue, gorgeous eyes and a slight pale figure. I snatched the food away from the man, and with that the girl had returned. I looked over to her understanding face, handed her tray over and spoke "You can have my seat, I was done anyways"With that I shoved the brownie bits I had into my jacket pocket dumped my tray and steered my way out of the dingy 'kitchen'.

I decided to hit up the local mall to take my mind off of things.I strut in with a crowd of dumb brunettes talking about how 'prom is only 1 month away'.I had to learn this the hard way but shopping is only fun and games if you have money.

I have been in a circle at least twice following a scruffy woman with a black studded purse.I followed her because 1) a jewel was missing from the side clip 2) she looked very suspicious.I confirmed my doubts when she stopped at the food court ordered 2 McDonalds grilled chicken sandwiches and opened a wallet with 1 twenty 2 tens and 5 ones, which was the exact type of wallet I had and amount of money.I pulled her over to the side when she looked at me with recognition and she darted away.She knocked down all the food and chairs in her way trying to get away.She was successful making a hell of a scene but I caught her outside in the back streets of the city.I stopped her in a dead end."I wouldn't if I were you" she chuckled.She whipped around to hold some kind of disfigured pistol  obviously loaded with half of a round.